


Between the Wish and the Thing

by ciel_vert, fleurdeliser



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Community: bandombigbang, Domestic, M/M, Romantic Friendship, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-16
Updated: 2010-06-16
Packaged: 2017-10-18 08:32:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/186957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ciel_vert/pseuds/ciel_vert, https://archiveofourown.org/users/fleurdeliser/pseuds/fleurdeliser
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard has been in love with his best friend and bandmate for years. It sucks. Especially because he's convinced himself that Frank does not feel the same. But a series of events including a long overdue break from touring, gastroenterology specialists, a new puppy and a visit from a know-it-all brother and his smart-as-hell wife, make Gerard question his assumptions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Between the Wish and the Thing

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to our most excellent betas, [](http://mrsronweasley.livejournal.com/profile)[**mrsronweasley**](http://mrsronweasley.livejournal.com/) and [](http://bexless.livejournal.com/profile)[**bexless**](http://bexless.livejournal.com/), who helped us whip this story into shape. We couldn't have done it without you! And a big thank you to [](http://philosiraptors.livejournal.com/profile)[**philosiraptors**](http://philosiraptors.livejournal.com/), our partner in ~~crime~~ writing who was patient while we worked on this and not the things we were also writing with her. She also happens to be a great person and is the best cheerleader ever.
> 
> This was written for [](http://bandombigbang.livejournal.com/profile)[**bandombigbang**](http://bandombigbang.livejournal.com/). Art by [](http://spuzz.livejournal.com/profile)[**spuzz**](http://spuzz.livejournal.com/) and mix by [](http://vixalicious.livejournal.com/profile)[**vixalicious**](http://vixalicious.livejournal.com/) can be found [here](http://fleurdeliser.livejournal.com/148757.html)

Gerard's cell phone buzzes on his desk and he picks it up without looking at it.

"Hello?"

"Gee, for the love of God he is driving me _insane_."

It's Mikey. "Who's driving you insane?"

"Your boyfriend. He won't leave me alone."

"Frank's not my boyfriend, Mikey."

"See, you knew I meant Frank. Clearly he _is_."

"Mikey," Gerard sighs.

"Whatever," Mikey interrupts him. "Seriously, Gee. Yesterday he passed me a note in my own home, asking if we were still friends, check yes or no. I almost checked no, just to get him the fuck out of my house for five minutes. Except then he'd probably have cried. I know he's calling you. Tell him to come visit. He needs a change of scenery. And he needs to see you."

"Maybe," Gerard says.

"Next time he calls me, I'm telling him to call you," Mikey says and hangs up.

It turns out, the next time Frank calls Mikey is about ten minutes later because Gerard's phone starts buzzing again. He hits the answer button and puts it to his ear and Frank is talking before Gerard even has the chance to say hello.

"I think Mikey's mad at me," Frank says.

"No he's not," Gerard returns automatically. "Uh, frustrated might be a better word."

Frank sighs.

"He's right about one thing. You should come see me."

"Seriously? I mean, I don't want to intrude or anything."

Gerard rolls his eyes and then remembers that Frank can't actually see him. "I'm rolling my eyes at you, just so you know. Frankie, come see me. Turn on your laptop and buy tickets out here right now."

Frank sighs loudly into the phone, but Gerard can hear it when his computer turns on. "Are you sure you want me to visit? I mean, you don't have writing to do or anything?"

Of course Frank isn't going to make this easy. "I always have writing to do, but I want to see you too. And you need a vacation."

"I guess." That's Frank's I'm-going-to-pretend-I-don't-want-to-do-what-you're-telling-me-even-though-I-really-do voice. Gerard waits him out. He's rewarded when Frank says, "Okay. There's something that would get me there next Thursday. Does that work?"

Gerard doesn't even bother looking at his calender. "Definitely. I can't wait to see you, Frank."

"Me too, Gee." Gerard can hear the smile in Frank's voice.

***

A week later, Gerard navigates the maze that is LAX and makes his way to a Starbucks close to Frank's terminal. He finds a table where he can watch for Frank and orders two coffees. One for himself, and one just the way Frank likes it. The arrivals board says Frank's flight is running a few minutes late, so Gerard pulls out the comic he's been reading. He gets caught up in the action and the art and loses track of time. He's startled when a throat clears in front of him. He looks up and there's Frank grinning at him. He realizes that aside from Ray's wedding, between the end of tour and now, is the longest he's gone without actually seeing Frank in years. Christ, he's a sight for sore eyes.

"Frankie!" Gerard lets the comic close on the table and stands up, pulling Frank into a tight hug. Frank wraps his arms around Gerard's waist and holds holds on just as tight. "I missed you, motherfucker."

They squeeze Frank's bags and guitar case into the back of Gerard's Mini and start the drive back to Gerard's house. They get caught in the ever ridiculous LA lunchtime traffic, which is annoying because Gerard can't really talk to Frank and deal with LA drivers at the same time. He breathes a sigh of relief when they're finally off the freeway and driving on regular roads, which are still full of assholes, but at least they're driving at speeds less likely to end in instant death if someone makes a wrong move.

As Gerard pulls into his garage, he realizes that the last time Frank was here, everything was still in disarray. He hadn't really had the chance to unpack much but the essentials, and he didn't even have some of his furniture.

"Dude, you can actually park in your garage," Frank sounds impressed. A little too impressed. Gerard flips him off.

"What, did you think I was gonna live in squalor for months?"

"Well, yes," Frank teases. Gerard rolls his eyes.

"Whatever. I'm even cutting down on all my stuff. And organizing it."

"We're like, adults now, aren't we?" Frank asks. Gerard tips his head back and laughs.

"Apparently. C'mon. Let's get inside."

They put Frank's bags in the guestroom and Gerard gives him the tour.

"It looks different without boxes everywhere. And with furniture," Frank says blandly.

Gerard huffs, "Duh."

They work their way back to the kitchen and Gerard busies himself with making coffee while Frank sits on a stool at the bar.

"It looks great, Gee. Really." Frank smiles at him. Gerard didn't even realize he was kind of nervous about Frank's opinion until that moment.

Gerard beams. "Thanks, Frankie."

The silence stretches between them and for the first time Gerard can remember since pretty much the day they met, it feels kind of awkward. Gerard gives Frank a cup of coffee and leans against the counter.

"So how's Jersey?" Gerard asks and what the fuck, he's making smalltalk with _Frank_.

"Okay. Jersey. My mom said to tell you hi and that you need to stop by the next time you're out there."

"Tell her I'll definitely do that." They make awkward conversation for the next hour or so when Frank starts yawning. Gerard's a little relieved, as he has no idea why Frank being around is making him all off-balance, and he'd sorta like that to stop before Frank catches on.

"I think I'm gonna go take a nap," Frank says after the fifth time he yawns. "I was up at five."

"Okay. Sleep well."

Franks smiles wanly at him and disappears down the hall. Gerard frowns down at his mug. He finishes it off and refills before going into the living room and sinking onto the couch. He grabs his sketchbook off the coffee table and starts drawing. It's all desolate landscapes and shit. Gerard nearly laughs at himself for being so transparent. He wanders down the hall to his studio, pausing outside of the guest room door for a second. Frank didn't shut it all the way and he can hear Frank's deep breathing. It calms him down a little, but once he's sitting at his desk, working on Umbrella stuff, he can't stop thinking about things being weird. After a while of getting nothing done, he goes back to the living room and his sketchbook, berating himself for being such a drama queen. Frank comes back out around four, yawning and stretching. Gerard can't help but smile at him, "Morning, sleepyhead. Feeling better?"

"'S'not morning," Frank grumbles. "Is there more coffee?"

"Always," Gerard answers. Frank disappears into the kitchen and returns with a mug in hand and sits at the other end of the couch. Frank drinks his coffee and Gerard continues drawing. The silence feels a little less strained, but still not normal.

"D'you wanna head out for an early dinner?" Gerard asks a while later. "I know a great Thai place down the road. Their Pad Thai is phenomenal."

"Sure," Frank says. "Ugh, I'm gonna shower first, though. I feel disgusting."

Gerard rolls his eyes. "Okay." When Frank disappears down the hall, Gerard sighs. Ray's wedding was just a month ago, but that was busy and full of a million people and family and _really_ , this is the first he's gotten to spend time with Frank in months. He's been here for five and a half hours and Gerard has hardly seen him. He doesn't know what's going on, but it's weird and wrong and they really can't go on like this for however long Frank ends up staying. He doesn't really know what to do, though. This is not a problem they've ever really had. Gerard tries to go back to sketching while he waits, but he mostly ends up pacing around the living room, before finally going out on the deck for a smoke. When he’s finished with that and Frank still isn’t out of the shower, he resolves to at least be somewhat productive and outlines some notes for Gabriel.

"Okay, ready," Frank says when he comes back.

"Okay!" Gerard stands up and tosses his sketchbook back on the coffee table and grabs his jacket from where it was draped over the back of the couch. He's about to go out the door to the garage when he just can't take it anymore and stops abruptly.

Frank runs smack into his back. "Jesus, Gerard. Warn a guy if you're gonna stop like that," he grouses.

"Frankie." Gerard turns and grabs him, wrapping his arms around him tightly. "What the fuck is going on here? It's _me_ , motherfucker."

Frank takes a deep breath and Gerard can feel the warmth through his thin t-shirt when Frank exhales. "I don't fucking know, man," Frank mumbles into Gerard's shoulder.

Gerard holds Frank tighter. “Frank, come on, you know you can tell me anything. What’s going on?”

Frank rubs his face against Gerard’s shoulder a little. Gerard doesn’t mind the nuzzling, but he wishes Frank wouldn’t hide his face. He doesn’t say anything though, just waits Frank out until he speaks again. "Like, we were all together at Ray and Christa's wedding and it really made me realize that I'm just not fucking ready for the band to be done and for you guys to go on with your lives and forget all about me."

Gerard blinks rapidly and squeezes Frank hard, "Frankie, as if we could. No matter what happens with the band, there's no way in hell any of us are gonna forget about you."

“Can you be sure of that? It’s happened before.”

Gerard feels his chest tighten, and he knows Frank’s thinking about Matt. And possibly Neil and Tim too. Former band mates and friends long forgotten. But what they have now is different. They’re _family_.

“Frank, you know that’s not going to happen with us. We… you’re my family too. You gotta know that.”

Frank’s voice is quiet. “I do know. I just… I want you to remember that it’s special.”

“I remember, Frank, I promise.”

He can feel Frank nod his head against his shoulder.

"What about Bob?" Frank asks.

Gerard's a little surprised by the question. "What _about_ Bob?" And then he can't help but snicker at the old joke. Frank joins in, and it's full-on giggles when Gerard says, "I'm sailing! I sail! A-hoy!"

"Shut up, Bill Murray," Frank laughs.

Gerard just laughs too, because he knows Frank really thinks his Bill Murray impression is awesome. Which it is. When he calms down, he reassures Frank. "Seriously, Bob's fine, I talked to him yesterday. He said PT is going really well, he's in with a bunch of football players and old ladies. He said when the ladies found out he was single, he ended up with fifteen casseroles in his fridge."

Frank snorts and rubs his forehead on Gerard's shoulder some more. "Well, that's good."

“Are we okay now?" Gerard asks. "Can we quit with the weird?”

"Yeah," Frank says and squeezes Gerard again before letting go. "Yeah. Okay, let's get food. I'm starving."

They go out to dinner and it feels so much better, Gerard kind of wants to do a dance. He settles for grinning at Frank and eating his Pad Thai with gusto. They talk about everything and nothing and Frank's ridiculous Cure cover band that Gerard wishes he could've seen and how Gerard has been talking with Shaun about maybe finally writing that comic they always talked about.

They take the long way home, driving around Gerard's neighborhood. It's a beautiful evening. It'd be a shame to go back to Gerard's place quite yet. Except after a few minutes Frank starts squirming.

"You okay, Frankie?" Gerard asks.

"I think I may need to get back. My stomach is giving me grief," Frank says with a sigh.

"I thought you were on meds for that."

"Yeah, just sometimes it flares up is all."

Gerard frowns and then turns down his street. "Should we not have gotten Thai? Frankie, you should tell me these things."

Frank just sighs. He goes straight into the bathroom when they get to the house and stays there for half an hour. Gerard can hear him throwing up. It's kind of terrible. Gerard wishes he could help. Frank comes out later looking miserable and exhausted. Gerard pulls Frank down against his side and holds him close.

"Have you been to the doctor recently?" Gerard murmurs.

"Not really," Frank sighs.

"We are finding you a doctor and I am taking you tomorrow. Seriously, Frankie. You don't play around with stomach stuff. A doctor could up your meds or figure out something to make you feel better," Gerard says fiercely.

"Fine. I just hate this shit so much." Frank sounds a little defeated.

"I know, Frankie." Gerard kisses Frank's temple.

***

It's actually a few days before Frank can get an appointment to see a doctor. Who immediately refers him to a gastroenterologist. It's a week after _that_ before there's an open appointment with the specialist. Frank just sighs like he expected it, but Gerard is antsy and worried and he wishes he could bring himself to be that asshole rockstar and just call them up and demand an appointment right away. But Frank would probably kill him and he'd hate himself for it.

Frank goes back to the tour diet he was on those last few months when his stomach started acting up and he didn't really have time to get to a doctor. Mostly he eats a lot of rice and beans. At least here he can throw in more well-cooked veggies than he could scrounge up on tour a lot of the time. Still, it seems pretty boring. Gerard feels bad. At least on tour, they were so busy, eating was more of an afterthought.

Gerard tries to fill their time up a little more. They go driving around a lot, stopping at random places and just walking around. He drags Frank to his favorite art store more than once, and they find an awesome little record store in North Hollywood. They spend three hours there the first time they go and come out with a couple of stacks of records. Gerard has never been a huge vinyl nerd like Frank, but he's got a record player and a good sound system and so when they get home, they sit cross-legged on the floor and take turns putting on the records they bought.

Gerard grins at Frank. "This feels kind of like high school. Except it would have been tapes. And we probably would have been smoking up."

Frank grins back, "Yeah, kind of. It'd probably be darker if we're talking about _your_ high school years."

Gerard laughs. "Oh, like your room at home was bright and cheerful and full of sunshine.”

"Point." Frank giggles. "And Mikey would be there. There's no way we could do anything like that and not have him there."

"Yeah," Gerard says and tips his head back against the couch he's sitting in front of and grins up at the ceiling. He's really glad Frank is here.

***

Finally, it's the day of Frank's appointment. Gerard is probably more nervous about it than Frank is. He wishes he could go with Frank or something, but Frank seems so zen about everything. He’s got the Mini's GPS programmed with the address, and he said he'd bring Gerard back a lollipop, so clearly he doesn't need Gerard to go with him.

Frank leaves and Gerard jitters around the house for half an hour before he forces himself to smoke a cigarette, make some coffee and go into his studio to get some work done. He can’t manage to focus, so he ends up calling Mikey and worrying at him instead.

"Dude,” Mikey says. “He's been sick a million times before. This is nothing new. Why are you freaking out?"

"I don't know!” Gerard wails. “It feels different.”

"It's not. Chill out. He'll be fine," Mikey insists. "Your boyfriend will be especially fine if you finally confess your undying love for him when he gets back."

Gerard hangs up on him.

He tries to draw and kind of fails, but he does feel a little better after talking to Mikey. He gets a text from Frank that says _done with doc. he ordered tests, so now to lab_.

Gerard doesn't know what that means. Are tests a good thing? A bad thing? A neutral thing? He decides until Frank tells him more, they are going to be a neutral thing in his head. Mostly so he doesn't go crazy. Crazier. This is ridiculous. Mikey's right. He needs to chill the fuck out.

After that, he manages to get some work done on Umbrella Academy stuff. It's nothing particularly interesting or profound, but it needs doing. The second he hears the garage door start to open, he's out of his studio and into the kitchen, watching until the door from the garage opens. Frank comes in looking tired with a bag of what is clearly pills in his hand.

"How'd it go?" Gerard asks. Frank sighs and tosses the bag on the counter.

"Eh. Okay. He upped the dose of the medication I was already taking and had me do a bunch of tests, but mostly he thinks the original diagnosis was correct and I just need more meds and to be careful about what I'm eating." Frank grimaces. "Which I've been a lot better about recently. I really don't wanna take those fucking pills, though."

Gerard doesn't really know what to say. Aside from the odd cold, Gerard's health has always been pretty okay. He can't even imagine how frustrating it must be for Frank to be sick so much. Gerard squeezes Frank's hand, part in support and part because of his own relief over it not being anything worse, even if it still sucks for Frank. "Just... tell me if there's something I can do, okay?"

Frank flips his hand over and squeezes Gerard's fingers. "I will. This doctor is pretty cool, though. I like him way better than the doctor I had in Jersey. He was an asshole and didn't actually fucking talk to me about anything, just shoved a prescription in my face. Anyway, this guy says if I do everything right, this should clear up after a while. Or at least go into remission."

Frank starts chewing on his nails and Gerard takes that as a sign they need to go out and smoke, so he grabs a pack off the counter and they go out to the back porch and sit on a step. Gerard lights up cigarettes for both of them and they smoke in silence for a minute.

"So," Frank says and blows out a long stream of smoke. "If you don't mind me staying for a while, I'd like to keep seeing this doctor." His voice is light and careful, like he doesn't expect Gerard to say yes, which is dumb.

"That's totally fine, Frankie. Stay as long as you need. It's nice having you here." Gerard nudges him in the arm with his elbow and smiles.

***

Gerard's not surprised by how easy it is to adjust to Frank's stay becoming a bit more permanent, but he's definitely very pleased. Not pleased that Frank is sick, of course, but that Frank is there and wants to stay while he gets better. Frank has to spend an afternoon on the phone with a bunch of people, including his mom and Mikey, to make sure his house and Mama are going to be taken care of while he's gone. Gerard can tell he's sad about not having her with him, which makes Gerard feel kind of bad about not having a dog around.

Frank's new medicine regimen has a bunch of side effects that Frank probably went over when he was at the doctor, but Gerard has no idea if that's all it is or if it's something more serious. Frank has a dizzy spell one day and Gerard kind of freaks out, but Frank just waves him off. Gerard calls Mikey later when Frank is gone to the store, and Mikey patiently looks up side effects to the pills Frank is taking to make sure it's a "normal" side effect. He even lets Gerard rant at him about how it's fucking ridiculous that whatever they give you to make you better for one thing makes you feel like shit for something else. And some of the side effects are even stomach things! Which the medicine is supposed to _fix_. It's ridiculous. Mikey also doesn't point out that Gerard could have looked up all of this by himself. Gerard really loves his brother.

Frank comes back with what looks like half of Target crammed in the back of Gerard's car. Gerard helps him carry it all in the house, and sits on the bed in the guestroom while Frank hangs up his new clothes in the closet and puts things away in the guest bathroom. He starts rambling and gesticulating, even though Frank is not really looking at him. When Frank finishes he turns and grins fondly at Gerard.

"What?" Gerard says. Frank just shakes his head, but he leans down and kisses the top of Gerard's head. It feels like the room suddenly gets a few degrees warmer, which is silly, because it's not like this is the first time Frank has ever kissed Gerard on the head. Gerard excuses himself to go work in his studio so he can be alone if he's going to keep being this ridiculous.

***

They make an evening run to the store one day, after Gerard realizes there is not enough coffee left for the next day. Instead of turning back the way he came, he makes a few random turns and ends up going north on 101. He gets off at Mulholland and heads up the into the hills.

"I'm pretty sure Paris Hilton lives up here," Gerard says as he accelerates out of a turn.

"Why do you even know that?" a bemused Frank asks.

"I watch too many reality shows on VH1. At some point, it always turns into _The Fabulous Life_ ," Gerard answers with a laugh.

The sun is sinking further and further down. Gerard finds a turnout and parks. The view of the city really is incredible from here. Gerard raises his eyebrows at Frank who smiles slightly and they get out. Gerard squints at his hood, then shrugs and hops up. Frank follows and they lean back against the windshield looking out at Los Angeles below them. They're silent for a few minutes when Frank takes a deep breath.

"Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a dress and played a girl bunny?" Frank's voice is pitched a little higher and definitely more nasally.

"Absolutely," Gerard answers. He maintains a straight face for about thirty seconds and then they both bust up laughing.

"I haven't seen _Wayne's World_ in too long. We should watch it," Frank says when they calm down. Gerard looks over at him. He's got his arms crossed behind his head and he's staring up at the sky.

"Yeah," Gerard answers after a beat. He's a little distracted by the way the orange light reflects off Frank's skin, making him almost glow. Frank turns his head and meets Gerard's eyes. They smile at each other and Gerard feels like this is one of those perfect moments.

***

Gerard calls Mikey while Frank is taking a nap. The first thing Mikey says when he answers is, "So when's the wedding?"

Gerard frowns even though Mikey can't see it; ever since they got home from the last tour, Mikey has been getting more and more relentless with the jokes and comments about Gerard and Frank. Gerard suspects he wouldn't be getting so annoyed if he didn't wish it were true, but he's not about to admit that to Mikey. "For fuck's sake, I told you Frank's not my boyfriend."

Mikey sighs the sigh of the long suffering, then says, "Why the fuck not?"

Gerard... really has no answer for that. So he says, "He's sick, Mikes, I don't want him to think it's because I'm like, Florence Nightingale or some shit."

"Frank is _always_ sick, you're so full of shit. Do something, dude. He stayed there to be sick in _your_ house. He could be home letting his mom take care of him."

This time Gerard sighs. "He's only here still because he found a good doctor and wants to continue under his care."

"Oh for fuck's sake, if I could commit fratricide through the phone, I would right now," Mikey deadpans.

"Okay, first, don't be an asshole," Gerard replies, unamused. "And second, we've known each other for _years_. If Frank felt like that, he'd have done something."

"Did _you_?" Mikey counters.

Again, Gerard really doesn't have an answer. So he says, "Whatever, Mikey. I'm hanging up now. Frank needs to take his pills in a few minutes and he never wakes up to his alarm when he naps." Gerard can practically hear Mikey roll his eyes.

"Fine. But you've both been dancing around this for years. And as much as I enjoy making fun of you for it, it's getting a little old."

Gerard hangs up on him and grabs Frank's pill bottles and a glass of water and sits down on the edge of the guest bed and shakes Frank awake.

Frank makes an annoyed sound and rolls over, smushing his face against Gerard's thigh. "Nnnnnnnn dun wanna."

Gerard chuckles, sets the glass and the pills on the nightstand, and runs his hand through Frank's hair, then down to rub his back. And yeah. Gerard knows for sure that Mikey is right about _his_ feelings.

Frank nuzzles his face against Gerard's thigh some more, then cracks one eye open to look up at him. "I think the pills are making me feel worse than the stomach pain before I started taking them."

Gerard keeps petting Frank's hair. "It's just side effects, Frankie, but the pills are working."

Frank makes a frustrated noise. "I know, but I just feel so... off. I don't know, like, my mind keeps running in a million different directions, and I always feel too warm and gross. It fucking sucks. And my stomach _still_ hurts."

Gerard gently squeezes the back of his neck. "I know you feel like crap right now, but it's better than you getting stomach cancer or some bullshit in a few years." And he has to close off that line of thought _right now_ , because yeah, no. Not happening.

Frank must agree, because he lets Gerard get him sitting up and he takes his pills without anymore complaints.

After Frank swallows down the pills and most of the glass of water, he pulls Gerard onto the bed and then worms them around so they're lying with Frank's head pillowed on Gerard's chest. Gerard toes off his shoes and wraps his arms around Frank, feeling content for the first time all day.

They fall asleep for an hour or so and Gerard wakes up feeling happy and comfortable and he doesn't want to move, really.

But Frank stirs and groans. "Ugh, I have to pee."

Gerard goes into the kitchen and makes a pot of coffee. Since Frank can't have coffee for a while because it upsets his stomach, he flips the switch for the electric kettle so Frank can have the herbal tea the doctor recommended. Gerard knows Frank hates the tea and he feels bad for drinking his coffee in front of him all the time when Frank can't have any, but Frank told him it was fine. Frank wanders in a minute later and leans against the counter, rubbing his face with his hands. His hair is sticking up all over the place and his mustache is stupid, but all Gerard wants to do is crowd up into his space and kiss the hell out of him. Instead, he dumps creamer and Splenda into his mug and puts the tea bag into Frank's.

Once there is enough coffee in Gerard's coffee maker for a full cup (that he can do this is still exciting every time), he fills his mug and stirs and then pours hot water into Frank's mug and passes it over to him.

"Thanks," Frank says and fiddles with the string on the tea bag, swishing it around in the water. Gerard's first instinct is to start talking, but he doesn't really know what to say and Frank has that look on his face like he's working up to say something, so Gerard stays quiet. Frank pulls the tea bag out of his mug, tosses it in the trash, and takes a sip after blowing over the top. "So, I've been here for almost a month. And." He pauses, looking down at his mug and swishing it around a little. "Well, am I overstaying my welcome or anything?"

"No!" Gerard's response is immediate. And suddenly the thought of Frank _leaving_ is in his head and he really, really doesn't like it. Well, it might be okay if he took Gerard with him.

Frank relaxes some and smiles at Gerard, but he still says, "Are you sure? Because I know you wanted a break, and now I'm here. And..." he trails off.

Gerard reaches out to cover Frank's hand with his own. "I'm sure. I wanted a break from the band, not... not from you." Frank smiles and Gerard squeezes his hand a little then takes his own back again.

"I should probably go back home at some point, though. I mean, Mikey and Alicia are taking care of Mama and checking up on my house, but you know."

Gerard tries not to frown too hard. "Well, like. You're welcome here for as long as you want to stay. And this doctor is really good, right? You don't want to risk going back to Jersey and getting stuck with a shitty doctor again."

Frank smiles. "True. Thanks, Gee."

"You're welcome," Gerard replies, smiling back.

They finish their respective drinks and Gerard says, "Wanna get in the car and see where we end up?" And Frank agrees. Of course, the first place they end up is the art supply store. Gerard gets a bunch of new supplies and even Frank gets a cool set of markers and a pad of paper because he likes doodling too.

"I don't know what it is, but art supply stores have this weird power where I always feel compelled to buy something," he complains when they're at the checkout. But Gerard knows he's really psyched about the new stuff and not actually annoyed, especially when he sees Gerard's bill and makes fun of him for spending so much on art supplies.

Gerard gets behind the wheel again and gets on the nearest freeway, and takes the third exit he comes to and then the third left, which happens to take them into a shopping center. There is a fancy schmancy pet store, and Gerard parks in front of it. He sees Frank's face light up, because they can totally see some dogs in cages in the window, but then it quickly falls into a frown.

"Dammit, dogs in cages in pet stores like this are usually from puppy mills." Frank sounds really disappointed.

"That's probably true, but don't puppy mill puppies still need good homes?" Gerard reasons. "I mean, I don't want to support a cruel industry either or anything, but at least they've gotten out?"

"Yeah, I guess," Frank says, and he sounds conflicted about it, but when they walk in, he goes directly to this pen on the floor with five of the cutest chihuahua puppies in the world inside. The girl sitting bored in the chair next to it indicates that he can pick one up. Gerard loves the look on Frank's face in that moment so much, he wishes he could take a picture without looking like a weirdo.

Frank lifts up this puppy and rubs noses with it and seriously, Gerard is only one man, so he crowds into Frank's space and runs a finger over the puppy's head and down its back and it really is fucking cute. Gerard glances at the price placard on the pen and goes a little wide-eyed at the number of zeroes, but then he remembers that he just spent that much on art supplies, for the love of god.

And Frank has the puppy cuddled up in his arms and he's cooing and it's seriously adorable. Gerard makes grabby hands and Frank reluctantly hands her over. Gerard lifts her up and looks into her eyes. Gerard feels a thousand percent certain he's the biggest sucker in the universe because he pulls her close and cuddles her for a second and then hands her back to Frank. "Um. D'you. I think you should get her," Gerard says.

Frank's eyebrows shoot up, "Really? I mean, puppies are a lot of work and make lots of messes and it's like, your house."

Gerard just shrugs, "My house is your house, Frankie. And I like her."

Frank bites his lip and looks down at her and back up at Gerard. "Really?" His eyes are big and full of barely suppressed excitement and a lot of hope. There's no way Gerard could say no to that, even if he were inclined to, which he really isn't.

Gerard nods and Frank's face could light up the sky if the sun went out. He looks over at the sales girl who already has the clipboard with the forms out. Frank grabs it and tries to fill them out with the puppy in his arms, but it doesn't really work. Gerard grabs her and nuzzles her soft fur while Frank fills in the blanks and reads all the info. "Gee, I gotta put your address and phone number here. They require local info."

Gerard shrugs. "That's fine."

After they get the adoption paperwork filled out, they walk around the store and get the ton of supplies they need, like a collar and food and water dishes, and a leash and a walking harness. Frank also picks out a hideous bright orange dog bed that will clash terribly with everything in the house, but Gerard doesn't even care, he just puts it on the counter with the rest of the store they just bought. They eventually get home and put her down and she trots around the living room sniffing things and the little bell on her collar tinkles and Gerard is torn between watching her and watching Frank. She trots over and sits on the floor near where Frank is sitting and whines, so he picks her up and cuddles her close and Gerard just can't not, so he takes a picture and sends it to Mikey.

Mikey's response is almost immediate. _had a kid already? told u_

Gerard doesn't reply because it's not like he can deny it. He is so so fucked.

He also sends it to Alicia, who will probably also make fun of him, but at least she will appreciate how adorable it is.

Her response is _oh honey, she's so cute! which one of you is the mom?_

Gerard wishes he could hate Alicia, but she's so fucking awesome. Dammit. He texts back, _i wish i could hate you._

She replies with, _i know. love you too!_

After everyone is told about the new addition to the family, it's an exhausting afternoon of playing with the new puppy. Frank names her Peppers, but not before he asks Gerard his opinion first. Gerard thinks it's cute, and weirdly fitting. They have dinner and sit in the living room, playing with the dog and watching TV until it's time for bed.

Gerard always sleeps with his door partly open, but even still, it's a little surprising when Peppers comes running into his room, whining to get on the bed at two am. She had gone to bed with Frank earlier. Gerard lets her up and cuddles a bit and lets her lick his hand until she falls asleep again, but Frank would be pretty sad if he woke up and Peppers wasn't there. So he carries her into the guest room and tucks her in with Frank, then goes back to his room to go to sleep. About thirty minutes later, it happens again. And then again. The fourth time Peppers comes into his room that night, it's with Frank carrying her. "I think she wants both of us," he says around a yawn.

Gerard sits up. He's pretty sure his hair looks ridiculous, possibly more so than Frank's, and he nervously pats it down before patting the bed next to him. "Well, come on then."

Frank smiles at him sleepily and climbs onto Gerard's big bed, putting Peppers down in between them. They both snuggle and pet her until she falls asleep again, and then Gerard can't help it, he reaches over to tuck some of Frank hair behind his ear. "Night, Frankie."

Frank pats Gerard's hand. "Mm night, Gee."

Frank's out like a light in under a minute, but Gerard lies awake watching both of them sleep for at least another hour.

***

The next morning Gerard wakes up to a puppy licking his face and whining a little. Gerard groans, then laughs silently because he only has himself to blame, and picks her up. He goes out to the living room and grabs her pink leash, clipping it on her before setting her down and taking her out to the backyard. It's a nice morning, so he just goes out barefoot and sits on the stoop while she does her business and runs around a little. They need to puppy-proof the backyard so they can just let her run free.

"You coulda woken me up, dude," Frank says when he walks outside to join them.

Gerard shrugs, "I don't mind." He leans back against Frank's knee. "We should check the fence and make sure she can't get out anywhere."

"Yeah," Frank answers. "Or we could just get one of those stake out things. Saves work if there are any holes."

Gerard shakes his head, "Nah." And he knows that's foolish, because he's already thinking of Peppers being here as a permanent sort of thing and she's really Frank's dog. But he's ready to expend all this effort for her anyway. Yep, so very fucked.

After a few minutes, they get up and walk around the perimeter of the yard. Frank picks up Peppers and puts her up to the gaps between the fence slats to see if she'll fit through and Gerard can't help but laugh because it's ridiculous. Peppers is squirming around in Frank's hands, clearly wanting down. But Frank manages to get her still enough a few times and it does seem like she'll fit, at least for a while. "Maybe we can get a roll of like, chicken wire or something," Gerard says. "We can just make sure the bottom of the fence is covered and also make sure she can't dig underneath the fence."

Frank shrugs, "Whatever you want."

Gerard wants to say no, not whatever he wants, Frank gets a say too. Except technically Frank doesn't get a say because he doesn't actually live here. Gerard makes a face and picks up Peppers and cuddles her close, even though she's all wet from the dew.

They go inside and Gerard makes pancakes. They sit around in their pajamas for a while before Frank disappears to the shower. Gerard gets down on the floor and plays with Peppers and her rope toy. She makes the most adorable growly noises and Gerard laughs a lot. She gets tired fast and flops down in the crook of Gerard's elbow and falls asleep. Gerard grabs a pillow off the couch and puts his head down and apparently he drifts off because the next thing he knows, Frank is sinking down next to his head cross-legged.

Frank's hands land on Gerard's head and his fingers start carding through his hair. It feels so nice and Gerard squirms around so his head is in Frank's lap instead of on the pillow. He rolls over and puts the puppy on his chest and hums happily as Frank keeps stroking his fingers through Gerard's hair, gently massaging his scalp. Gerard blinks his eyes open after a little while and looks up at Frank's face. It's sort of an expression he recognizes, like, Frank's eyes are all soft and he's seen that before, but there's something serious about his mouth, and Gerard's not sure what it means. Gerard smiles and closes his eyes again.

It's not long until Peppers wakes up and tumble-walks off Gerard's chest and goes around sniffing the room again. Gerard doesn't move quite yet and Frank doesn't stop running his fingers through his hair. Gerard sighs. they really should go to Home Depot.

Frank tugs on one lock a little harder, "Go shower, fuckface." Gerard grumbles. "You smell," Frank says.

"Ugh, fine," Gerard sighs and sits up.

Gerard realizes when he's getting undressed in the bathroom that Frank is the only person he will shower on demand for. He looks at himself in the mirror and says, "You're ridiculous," at his reflection, then gets in. He ends up taking a stupidly long time in the shower because he gets caught up in thinking about how over the moon he is for Frank. After a while, Frank comes in and says, "Dude, did you drown in here?"

Gerard about jumps out of his skin. "No!" he squeaks. "Just thinking."

"So you did drown," Frank says. Gerard puts his hand out the curtain and flips Frank off. Frank just laughs. "Hurry up, man. You promised Peppers and I a trip to Home Depot. We wanna see how many old ladies we can pick up."

Gerard very carefully does not think about all the hot, young things Frank could pick up at the nearest Home Depot.

He gets out and towels his hair as dry as it will get and throws on some clothes. Apparently he doesn't do as good a job not thinking about hot young things as he thought, because he ends up wearing really tight pants and this shirt Frank said looked good on him a while back.

When he gets into the living room, Frank bursts out laughing and Gerard feels fantastically self-conscious. But Frank walks up to him and runs his fingers through Gerard's hair, tugging at the knots. Gerard wrinkles his nose. "I know you own a brush. You should consider using it every once in a while," Frank says.

"I forget," Gerard says.

"I know. Picking out what jacket you want to wear for the day is distracting," Frank teases. "Even though you wear the same damn jacket every day for months."

And that's just the last straw and Gerard goes for the quick and dirty tickle attack. Gerard doesn't relent until Frank cries, "Uncle!" and Peppers is dancing around yipping. "I never know when it'll be the day to switch," Gerard says breathlessly. "I can't go through the day wearing the wrong jacket."

They drive over and walk around just looking at shit for a while. Gerard spends like half an hour looking at the paint chips. He finds a color he really likes and shows it to Frank. "What do you think about this color?"

Frank shrugs. "Depends."

"I'm kind of bored with the kitchen. But I dunno if it's just me being me, of if it's actually a good idea to change it."

Frank shrugs again. "It's your kitchen."

Gerard frowns. "But I like weird things sometimes. Do _you_ like it?"

Frank squints at it. "I think I'd have to see a bigger patch. I mean, it's an awesome color, but it might be a bit much for a whole room."

Gerard beams at him. "We'll get a sample."

He hands the chip to the kid at the paint counter and asks for a pint of that color. He bounces on his toes a little and scritches Peppers. "Wait, you painted the kitchen when you moved in, right?" Frank asks. Gerard nods. "So if you hate it, you have paint left that you can just paint back over it, right?"

Gerard laughs. "Yeah, I got _way_ too much. And if you hate it, we can paint back over it, too."

The kid hands over the paint sample and they move on to the fencing section, where Gerard realizes that his car might not be big enough for the amount of chicken wire they would actually need to line the fence surrounding his backyard. Which he probably should have anticipated, but it's not like carrying chicken wire was something he was thinking about when he bought it. The back seats fold down though, so they might be able to work it. He knows he's packed a ton of shit in there before. So he has to measure the roll and then go measure the back of his car. And Frank just stands around, holding Peppers, not being at all helpful, and laughs at Gerard for buying a tiny car. Gerard just says, "Whatever, your car is the ugliest thing ever made."

Frank laughs and says, "Whatever, I can haul shit and not worry about it, and also I can _hose it down_ on the inside if I want to."

Gerard doesn't really have a comeback for that except his car is fucking cute and has a good sound system standard and Frank had to pay extra to upgrade his.

After Gerard is finished measuring everything, they come back in and buy a roll of chicken wire and some wire cutters (and thank god the store employee suggested them, because Gerard's wire cutters are not the heavy duty kind). And then they get home and realize they have to roll it out now. It's been a while since either of them did any manual labor. It takes them a lot longer than Gerard had thought it would take when he first got the idea. The stuff is kind of hard to manage and by the time they finish, Frank's got his shirt stripped off (which Gerard appreciates greatly) and they're both sweating and swearing.

Once they're finished, they go inside for some iced tea. He doesn't say anything specifically about it, but Gerard can tell that Frank's pretty self-conscious about having his shirt off because of the weight he's gaining from the meds. Gerard thinks Frank looks just as hot as always.

Frank downs his glass, then disappears and comes back in wearing a different shirt. Gerard is a little disappointed. They refill their glasses and go back outside and let Peppers run around the yard leash-free. It's a little too hot to lean on Frank like he did this morning, but Gerard sits as close as he can get.

They watch Peppers play until she flops down in a sunny spot on the grass and sits there panting. It's ridiculously cute. Gerard is like, one thousand percent attached to her already. It's going to really suck when Frank decides he's tired of Gerard and wants to go home. They let her sit there for a minute and then Frank calls her over and whistles. Her ears perk up, but she doesn't quite know her name yet, so Frank pulls the bag of treats out of his pocket and shakes it and she comes running.

"Who's a good girl, huh?" Frank coos, "Who? Peppers!" He gives her a treat and pets her. Gerard sits up and scoops her up in his hands and rubs his nose against hers. She squirms and licks everywhere she can reach and Gerard giggles.

"What do you want for dinner?" Gerard asks as they get up and go back inside.

"I dunno, what do we have?" Frank asks.

Gerard wanders into the kitchen and looks in the fridge and in the cupboards, Peppers still in his arms. He wrinkles his nose, "Nothing worth eating. We should probably go to the store tomorrow." He almost asks if Frank wants to order Thai and then remembers that Frank can't eat Thai right now. There's a place that delivers decent vegan pizza, but they had that recently and Gerard knows Frank is getting kind of bored with his meal restrictions. He sighs, "On second thought, maybe we should go to the store right now."

"Ugh," Frank says. "All I want is some Pad Thai. Stupid stomach."

Gerard grabs a stack of takeout menus from the drawer he usually throws them in and carries them over to the couch, sinking down next to Frank and handing Peppers over to him. "Thai does sound kind of good, but we can find something else. Or you can look in the cupboards and see if you find more inspiration than I did."

Frank laughs. "Doubtful. It's been kind of sparse the past couple of days."

They sort through the menus and finally find an Italian place that delivers and has a few items on the menu that aren't pizza that Frank thinks he can handle. Gerard orders Chicken Parm, even though he's kind of craving eggplant. He figures Frank is less likely to wish he could eat Gerard's chicken than his eggplant.

When their food arrives, Gerard flips through Fear On Demand and picks the worst looking horror movie neither he nor Frank has seen and sets it going. It always makes him laugh to eat things with lots of tomato sauce when watching gory movies. When he's done eating, he blames the sleepiness brought on by carb-loading on the fact that he slumps over and rests his head on Frank's shoulder as they watch the last half of the movie. He definitely doesn't complain when Frank wraps his arm around Gerard and Peppers curls up half on Gerard's leg, half on Frank's.

After a while, Frank sticks his arms basically in front of Gerard's face, which means he wants Gerard to just lightly run his fingers up and down. Frank is seriously the most ticklish person Gerard knows, but he's also a complete touch-whore. He loves hugs and cuddling and spooning and tickle fights, but mostly, he loves it when people stroke his arms. Gerard's used to this, of course. Wherever they are, on the bus, in a dressing room, in the studio, if they're sitting around not doing much of anything, Frank will eventually stick his arm out to be stroked. Right now, Gerard is gently running his fingertips from the inside of Frank's wrist, up to the bend in his arm, and then back down. Frank sighs happily and basically melts into the couch and Gerard's side. It's only when he's sitting here now, basically petting Frank, that Gerard realizes he can't remember the last time Frank had someone not Gerard stroke his arms. He tries to picture it, on the last tour, in Asia, shit, he can't even remember anyone else doing it on Projekt Rev. Fuck, maybe Mikey _is_ right about how Frank feels.

If he had more energy, Gerard would definitely think about it more, but as it is, he's exhausted, so he puts it away to think about later, maybe when they're not basically lying on top of each other. The movie ends and the TV switches over to the channel it was on, which happens to be the Food Network. They watch Iron Chef and then Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives and Unwrapped until Gerard really is falling asleep on Frank's shoulder.

"When did I become an old man?" Gerard murmurs sleepily. Frank chuckles and it feels nice under Gerard's head. "That was a rhetorical fucking question," Gerard says before Frank can say anything.

Frank cards his fingers through Gerard's hair and pulls at a strand hard, tugging. Gerard flinches. "Ow! What was that for?"

Frank's amused voice responds, "I thought I saw a grey hair!" It's time for another tickle attack.

Peppers wakes up and dances around on their laps, yipping a little bit, but mostly trying to lick and bite and get in on the play as well. Gerard is laughing so hard at her, and Frank and everything that he can't even keep up with the tickles. Frank gets in a couple of good attacks, but they settle back down. "Ugh, I feel so lame going to bed this early, but I'm fucking tired," Gerard groans.

"Well, we _did_ work pretty hard this afternoon. It's not like we did nothing all day," Frank points out.

When they finally recover their breath from all the laughing and tickling, they head down the hall to go to bed. Frank is walking behind Gerard, holding Peppers, and Gerard hears him pause at the door to the guest room for a second. But then Frank's footsteps continue into Gerard's room. Gerard's heart is pounding really hard in his chest, but he forces himself to take a calming breath and smiles at Frank as he sets Peppers down on the bed and starts to take his jeans off. Gerard gets changed into his pajamas as Frank gets into his bed. Frank always sleeps in his underwear and a tshirt on tour, and that clearly doesn't change at home either. Gerard doesn't get it. He gets into bed and gives Peppers a kiss and leans over and kisses Frank's temple too. "Night, Frankie."

Frank smiles softly at him, eyes drooping closed. "Night, Gee."

***

Gerard wakes up the next morning with his face buried in Frank's neck and his hand on Frank's chest. He lifts his head up a little and peaks over to see Peppers cuddled up in the crook of Frank's body. Gerard figures he should probably move, but instead he puts his head back down on the pillow and nuzzles Frank's neck a little bit. Gerard can tell by the light that it's still pretty early and they don't have anything to do. He can stay right where he is for a little while.

Gerard drifts back to sleep and dozes until his phone starts buzzing on his nightstand. He turns over and grabs it, answering with, "Fucking _timezones_ , Mikey, Jesus." His voice is all scratchy, so there's no way Mikey doesn't know he's in bed.

"'S'What you get for moving out there," Mikey returns archly.

Gerard rolls his eyes. Mikey isn't fooling him. Alicia already has him half convinced to move out here as well. Frank rolls over, slinging an arm around Gerard and grumbles, "Tell him to fuck off."

Mikey's silence says more than anything he could possibly say ever would.

Gerard has no fucking clue what to say because it's not like he can even explain with Frank _right there_. He'd sound like the biggest asshole. The silence stretches into truly ridiculous territory. Finally, Gerard says "You heard him, fuck off. I'll call you later. Love you bye." And he hangs up.

Gerard tosses his phone back on his nightstand and then lies there contemplating the fact that he is now awake. And Frank is sort of awake. Does this mean they have to get up? Gerard doesn't want to get up and he definitely doesn't want to stop cuddling with Frank. Frank shuts that down completely by wrapping himself a little more tightly around Gerard, both arms around his middle, one leg thrown over Gerard's and his head on Gerard's chest. "Mmmmmmmmm you're like a teddy bear. But warm."

Gerard doesn't really know how to respond to that, so he just gropes around for Peppers on the other side of Frank and lifts her up and puts her on his chest next to Frank's head and then wraps his arms around both of them. Frank just sighs happily and a few minutes later he's sleep breathing again, which on Frank isn't exactly snoring but isn't breathing quietly either. It's fucking adorable. Wow okay, Gerard is so pathetic it's not even funny anymore.

Gerard doesn't fall asleep again though, he just cuddles Frank and Peppers while they sleep and thinks about how gone on Frank he is and how this came to be. Like, he knows Mikey is right and it's been a lot of years that he's felt like this, but he didn't really let himself, didn't have really have _time_ , to think about it. And then they went their separate ways after the Garden and suddenly there was this hole in his life.

He missed all of them, Mikey especially. But he was used to missing Mikey. Mikey's place in his life changed the moment he met Alicia and Gerard was okay with that. But he was really not used to missing Frank and how fucking _much_ he missed Frank surprised the hell out of him.

When Frank started calling and texting and stuff, Gerard had felt a little less crazy. Maybe Frank didn't miss him quite like Gerard missed Frank, but at least he cared. And then Mikey had pretty much ordered Gerard to get Frank to come visit. Gerard didn't usually make a habit of taking orders from Mikey, but he made an exception for Frank and arrangements were being made before he even had a chance to think about it.

And then Frank was here and Gerard felt normal and actually like he was at home and taking a break for the first time instead of just feeling like he was in some bizarre sort of purgatory between touring and whatever they decided to do next. And really, they still don't really know what they're going to do next, well aside from doing the Desolation Row cover they promised to do for _Watchmen_. Gerard doesn't want the band to be over, but he's not sure they're not. But with Frank here, he feels better about letting that decision wait, at least until they get back together to record again. They all need a fucking break and time to really think about what they want.

Gerard's so caught up in his thoughts, he doesn't feel Frank's breathing change. "You're thinking too loud."

"Sorry," Gerard says sheepishly and kisses the top of Frank's head in penance.

"S'okay," Frank murmurs. "What'd Mikey want?"

"Same thing he always wants, to mock me." Frank chuckles a little, still tired sounding. Gerard just gives him a little squeeze and tries to stretch without Frank thinking he's trying to shake him off. He's craning his neck around when he sees the clock.

"Shit, Frankie, you need to take your pills." Frank groans and turns to his face is flat against Gerard's chest.

"Nnnnnnnnn. You take 'em." Gerard laughs at him and pets his hair.

"I'm pretty sure that's frowned on," Gerard says.

"Hmph," Frank answers and then puts his elbows on Gerard's chest and props his chin on his hands. His face is all stretched out and silly looking and Gerard can't help but grin up at him. "Hi," he says.

"Hi," Frank grins back.

Gerard feels this ridiculous _swoop_ go through his belly. Frank's beautiful face is _right there_ and he looks so fucking perfect and it would hardly take any effort at all to just stretch forward a bit and kiss him, right on his perfect lips. He can't help it, he drops his gaze to Frank's lips. When he looks back up at Frank's eyes, it's to see that he did the same thing to Gerard just a half beat later. The tops of Frank's cheeks are going pink and Gerard sort of feels like he wants to throw up and sing showtunes at the top of his lungs. At the same time. He's pretty much almost entirely decided to chance it when Peppers starts barking at the door. Frank drops his head and the moment is broken.

"When did she even get down, the little sneak?" Gerard asks.

"Dunno, but we should probably let her outside," Frank says with a sigh and rolls off Gerard and then onto his feet. "I'll take my pills and set the coffee going. You let her out."

Gerard gets up, grabbing his cigarettes and lighter off the nightstand. He opens the back door and Peppers goes trotting outside, sniffing everything on her way. Gerard sits on the step again and lights a cigarette. He studiously avoids thinking about what just didn't happen by contemplating getting a table and chairs for the patio.

Frank brings Gerard a mug of coffee and steals what's left of his cigarette. They sit there like they did the day before, and even with the underlying tension of almost kissing (well Gerard _thinking_ about kissing Frank), it's still really fucking nice.

Frank asks, "You gonna call Mikey back?"

Gerard fishes in his pocket for his phone, scrolls to his recent calls list, and hits 'call back'.

"Are you guys finally boning?" Mikey asks.

"Christ, Mikey. No. Is there a point to this conversation other than making fun of me?"

"Well, there was, but now I'm not so sure."

"Fuck you, I hate you." Gerard hangs up on him, waits a few seconds, and then hits send again. He can feel Frank laughing next to him.

"So what was the point, other than making fun of me?" Gerard asks when the line connects.

"Well, Alicia wants to see Sarah, so we're planning on coming out there in a couple of weeks," Mikey explains.

"Really?" Gerard asks happily.

"Yes, really."

"Where are you staying?" Gerard is pretty sure Sarah's apartment is tiny, but it's always possible that they'd stay there. Or maybe get a hotel. Both thoughts make him frown.

"Dunno," Mikey answers.

"Well, then stay here," Gerard insists.

"Isn't your guest room occupied?" Mikey's tone is totally loaded, but Gerard ignores him.

"Dude, the four of us have stayed on a fucking bus together with even more people thrown into the mix. I think we can make a house with multiple rooms work," Gerard says, managing to avoid saying anything about the fact that Frank has slept with him the last two nights and that really, there will be no problem letting Mikey and Alicia have the guest room.

"Too true. Okay, I'll tell Alicia. We'll probably double-check with Sarah and buy tickets this afternoon. Unless you bums have any plans we need to work around?"

Gerard laughs, "No, we're totally bums. Come whenever." Gerard really likes referring to him and Frank as a unit. A we.

"Mikey's coming?" Frank asks when Gerard hangs up. He doesn't even have to look to know Frank is smiling.

"Yep. In a couple of weeks."

"Awesome," Frank says and lights another cigarette. He takes a drag and then passes it down to Gerard and lights another.

"We should like, get a table and shit for out here," Gerard says after a minute. "It'd be nice to have a chair to sit in."

Frank hmms and Gerard's already making plans in his head to go back to Home Depot in the afternoon. Maybe one of those fancy outdoor furniture places. He can afford it. His mom or Alicia would laugh at him and tell him he's nesting. They'd probably be right.

Frank makes Gerard shower again and they head out. Frank points out that his car _really_ won't fit any patio furniture they might purchase and the stuff Gerard remembers seeing at Home Depot was ugly anyway, so Gerard drives past Home Depot to a furniture place that he knows delivers. They find a set almost immediately. It's a small table with a mosaic tile top and chairs with matching backs, and Gerard can tell Frank likes it just as well as he does. Gerard asks him anyway.

"Do you like this one? I think I do, but I dunno," Gerard says.

"Gerard, shut up. You love it, I can tell," Frank answers.

"But is it right for the backyard?" Gerard presses.

"Well, if it were my backyard, it's the one _I'd_ pick," Frank says and Gerard does victory arms in his head.

"Okay. Then we'll get it," Gerard says with a grin.

***

Two weeks later, Frank has an appointment with his doctor and Gerard drives him over. Frank warns him that he'll have to sit around because if the doctor orders any tests, the lab is several miles away. Gerard just shrugs, "I don't mind, Frankie."

When they pull into the parking lot, Frank goes to open the door and then sits back. "You should come in with me."

Gerard had figured on sitting in the car and listening to music, but if Frank wants him to come in, he's definitely not going to say no.

"Whatever you want." Gerard gets out of the car and rounds to where Frank is already waiting for him on the sidewalk. His first impulse is to grab Frank's hand. Instead he bumps Frank's shoulder with his and they walk inside.

They get into the doctor's office and Frank has to sign in and they wait until his name is called and Gerard is weirdly nervous, but Frank just drags him along and the nurse does her little greeting and Frank introduces Gerard. Then they have to do the weigh-in and Frank gets all grimacey when the nurse has to keep adjusting the scale, and Gerard doesn't really know what to do or say. He doesn't fucking care; Frank is beautiful.

While all that is going on, Gerard fiddles with his phone and texts Alicia to tell her he's excited to see her tomorrow, and then it's over and the nurse has them sit in an exam room. Frank hops up on the exam table and kicks his feet back and forth like a little kid. Gerard sits in the guest chair and smiles over at him. He wants to tell Frank he's so fucking beautiful that Gerard can hardly look away from him most of the time.

Gerard doesn't say that, though. He doesn't know how without giving himself totally away. Instead, he nudges Frank's knee with his knuckles. God, he's so fucked. His phone buzzes in his pocket and he fishes it out and grins. "Alicia says hi and that she's excited to see us, and that we better plan on taking her to Pinkberry first thing."

Frank laughs, "Of course." Just then, the doctor opens the door and comes in, greeting Frank and asking who Gerard is. Frank introduces Gerard as his friend, and the doctor kind of gives Gerard a knowing look before flipping through Frank's chart. He doesn't chit-chat much and gets to business, asking questions. He even asks Gerard if he has noticed any increase in side-effects recently. Gerard thinks about it and no, they're about the same since he first started. Which Gerard supposes is a good thing, but he'd rather Frank have no side-effects whatsoever. The doctor tells him to go over to the lab and get a couple of tests done and then he's gone. Gerard's almost shocked at how quickly it went. Frank sighs, though. "I am really tired of being poked and prodded."

Gerard just can't hold back, so he wraps his arms around Frank and murmurs in his ear, "I'm sorry."

Frank clings back for a second and then pulls away, "Okay. Let's go to the damn lab." Gerard does take Frank's hand as they walk out. He doesn't even fucking care.

They go to the lab and Gerard stays in the car this time (because a, Frank tells him to and b, needles). Frank comes out with a bright purple bandage on the back of his hand and a sour expression on his face and sinks into the passenger seat with a heavy sigh. Gerard takes his hand and places a kiss over the bandage. "D'you wanna go to that record store? We're not very far away."

They go to the record store and Frank starts perking up and they both buy a stack and then wander into other shops nearby. Gerard hears a gasp and a little shriek from a table in front of a restaurant they're passing and can't help but laugh a little. A grin is spreading across Frank's face. "So, do we stop and wait, or make them catch up with us?" Gerard asks.

"I'm feeling magnanimous. Let's wait," Frank answers. They lean against the wall and a couple of girls walk up, clearly trying to contain their excitement. Gerard appreciates the effort.

"Hi," they chorus. Frank grins and holds out his hand and they both shake it and then Gerard steps forward and why the hell not, gives them both a hug. One girl beams at him, but the other looks kind of stunned, which makes Gerard want to laugh. He refrains.

"Do you have anything you want us to sign?" Gerard asks them. They both go "Uhhh" and Frank shoos them back to their table to get stuff.

Frank pulls a sharpie out of his pocket and grins sheepishly at Gerard. "I've put one in my pocket every morning for years. It's a hard habit to break."

Gerard pretty much wants to kiss that smile more than anything in this moment, but he shrugs it off and turns to the girls who are back, one with an iPod and the other with her purse and they hold them out. Gerard and Frank sign and then switch items and the girls thank them and go back to their lunch. They're about ten feet away when they hear "Oh my god" behind them and lots of giggles.

Frank's grin is non-stop for the rest of the time they're wandering around. Gerard forgets how much Frank loves talking to fans. Probably because he's a self-centered ass sometimes and only thinks about himself. He likes the fans and he likes talking to them, but it can get overwhelming sometimes. But Frank just fucking loves it.

They go back home and Frank sets a record going, turning it up loud enough that it can be heard through the screen door to the backyard. They sit outside and drink iced tea and eat sandwiches for lunch and watch Peppers play and Gerard basically never wants it to end.

Later that evening as they sit around watching Celebrity Rehab, Gerard realizes they haven't really discussed setting up the guest room for Mikey and Alicia. "So, Mikey and Alicia will be here tomorrow," he says during the next commercial break.

"Awesome," Frank says and keeps watching his show.

Gerard pauses for a minute, bracing himself in case this goes really wrong. "So I kind of told them they could stay here."

Frank looks over at him. "That's cool." Then it catches up with him. "Oh wait, I should probably get my stuff out of that room." He gets up, still talking. "Do you have any empty space in your dresser?"

"Um, yeah, hang on", Gerard says then goes into his (or is it theirs?) bedroom and moves things around to accommodate the rest of Frank's stuff. By the time they're done and have the guest room all set up, Frank's yawning and Peppers is drooling in her bright orange doggy bed. Gerard gets into his pjs and then goes to brush his teeth. Frank comes in the bathroom and gets out his toothbrush too, and they stand there brushing together, smiling with their eyes at each other in the mirror. They've done this enough times on tour that it's not weird, but it feels different.

***

When Gerard wakes up in the morning, Frank's arm is around his waist, one of his knees pressing into the back of Gerard's thigh, and his head is resting against Gerard's back, between his shoulder blades. They're almost spooning, and it's really nice, even though it's not the most comfortable for Gerard at the moment.

Gerard must have drifted off again, because the next time he wakes up, Peppers is on the bed, nosing around his neck, which means Frank must have gotten up to put her there. Gerard does a quick assessment of his surroundings, and Frank isn't actually in the bed anymore, but in the shower. Gerard can hear the water running.

He lies in bed, petting Peppers and listening to Frank's shower and trying not to feel creepy (or too turned on for fuck's sake) about it. The water shuts off and after a few minutes, Frank comes back into the bedroom, a towel around his waist, his hair dripping onto his neck and shoulders. Seriously, he's _gorgeous_.

Frank looks over at the bed and meets Gerard's eyes. "Morning lazybones," he says before digging around in the dresser for his underwear.

"Morning," Gerard replies. He attempts to keep his eyes off Frank, but it's difficult. Frank is hot even wearing sweats and a baggy t-shirt, never mind just a towel around his waist. Gerard puts his attention on Peppers, cooing at her and letting her chase his fingers across his chest. Frank pulls a shirt over his head in Gerard's peripheral vision and disappears into the bathroom for a second. He comes back out and flops on the bed, grinning down at Gerard and Peppers.

"So Mikey's coming today," Frank says.

Gerard grins back. "I know."

Gerard rolls over on his side and looks at Frank. His breath catches in his throat unexpectedly. Frank doesn't really look any different. There's nothing new about him that should spark this, but he really wants to see Frank just like this every morning for the rest of his life. He gives into his impulses and scoots closer, throwing an arm around Frank's waist. "I'm glad you're here, Frankie," he murmurs into Frank's throat.

Frank wraps Gerard up tightly in his arms. "Me fucking too." His voice is a little bit rough, but it could easily be from not using it much this morning. Gerard doesn't really want to lift his face to look at Frank's face to see his expression. Peppers breaks the moment by trotting up and over Gerard's hip and tumbling down between them. Frank laughs, grabs her, and rolls onto his back, pulling Gerard along so he's nestled up against Frank's side. Peppers runs up Frank's chest and attacks his face with her tongue. Frank giggles and turns his face into Gerard's hair, which just makes Peppers try harder. She gets distracted by Gerard's fingers on Frank's chest after a second and starts attacking them instead.

"So did you have any plans for tonight when they get here?" Frank asks.

Gerard shakes his head, "Not really. D'you have any ideas?"

"I was thinking about making dinner," Frank says. Mikey and Alicia will never let him hear the end of it, it's so disgustingly domestic, but Gerard doesn't much care. He likes Frank's cooking and it sounds way nicer than trying go out on a Saturday night. Mikey and Alicia will have been on a plane all day and probably want a break from crowds of people anyway.

"A family dinner sounds nice," Gerard says. "Do we need to get any groceries?" Frank rubs his hand down Gerard's arm.

"Probably. I haven't decided what I want to make yet, though. Do we need to go pick them up, or are they renting a car and driving up?"

"Driving."

"Cool. That'll make cooking a little less complicated," Frank says and kisses Gerard's forehead. Gerard sighs happily.

"I should get up."

"And shower," Frank interjects.

Gerard huffs. "You're obsessed." Gerard really doesn't want to move, though. If he gets up, he has to stop cuddling with Frank. After a few minutes, his bladder makes itself known and he suddenly realizes he really fucking wants some coffee and a cigarette or ten. And maybe some toast. Toast sounds good. He sighs deeply.

"Hmm?" Frank asks.

"I have to pee," Gerard answers.

Frank laughs at him. "Well, it may be a good idea to take care of that. We have to sleep in this bed, you know."

Gerard's stomach does that swooping thing again. _We have to sleep in this bed_. He scolds himself because it's not like it's anything more than a statement of fact. "Okay," Gerard says. "I'm getting up now. Really."

"You're not moving," Frank points out.

"Because I'm too comfortable," Gerard says and suddenly Frank is rolling, his arms still around Gerard and before Gerard has time to process what's happening, he's dropping to the floor. Frank sits up on the bed and looks down at him holding Peppers and laughing, the fucker. Gerard rubs his hip where it impacted the floor.

"Ugh, fuck you, you giant asshole," Gerard pouts.

Gerard glares up at Frank for a few more seconds and then gets up. He really does have to pee. "You realize that I will be getting revenge at some point," he calls over his shoulder from the bathroom.

"Oh, I know," Frank answers.

Gerard decides he may as well shower. Mikey will probably make fun of him for being whipped or some shit, but Mikey's going to make fun of him anyway. By the time he gets out and dressed, there's coffee already brewed and Frank is sitting at the breakfast bar, writing on a notepad.

"Don't think making me coffee will save you from my retribution," Gerard warns and then drinks happily from the mug Frank got ready for him.

By the time Gerard has finished his first two cups of coffee and made himself some toast, Frank seems to have come to a decision about dinner and has a grocery list all written up. He makes a quick grocery run while Gerard stays and makes sure the guest room has clean sheets and the guest bathroom isn't disgusting. When Frank gets back, he puts away the groceries, checks his watch, and then decides he has plenty of time, so they sit on the couch and turn on some 90s movie neither of them has seen.

Gerard is basically vibrating with anticipation about Mikey and Alicia's impending arrival. He doesn't realize it's literal until Frank's iron grip closes around his jiggling knee. "Stop it. Go paint or something. Or read. Or write your comic. Call Scott. Or Ray. Or Bob. Whatever you do, just stop shaking the entire fucking couch."

Gerard laughs and stills, "Sorry."

"Gerard." Frank growls a few minutes later and Gerard squirms and stills again. He knows he's not going to last, though.

"Wanna go for a walk? We can take Peppers out. Get her used to walking on her leash."

"Yeah, okay" Frank says and they're out the door and walking in the general direction of a little park a few blocks away. It's a warm day, but not enough to make them break a sweat on a leisurely stroll. Gerard is, once again, struck by the desire to hold Frank's hand. Instead, he pushes up his sunglasses and calls Ray. Ray sounds pretty happy to hear from him and he and Frank pass the phone back and forth all the way to the park talking about all the random shit that pops into their heads. Ray brings up the fact that they're supposed to be recording Desolation Row in a couple of months.

"Bob says he thinks he's on track with his physical therapy to be ready to play by then, so I guess we'll have to trust him on that," Ray says.

Gerard repeats what Ray said to Frank, who scowls.

"Trust him. He is not trustworthy when it comes to his health," Frank grumbles.

"Like you're a paragon of taking care of yourself," Gerard return and the conversation moves on to the latest XBox game Ray picked up.

They make a couple of slow circuits around the grass, letting Peppers sniff everything she can get to. By the time they get back, Frank decides it's time to start cooking. Gerard sits at the bar with his sketchbook, ready to help Frank if he asks but still out of his way.

"You know, you could clear off the table," Frank suggests.

"Wait, are we eating at the table?" Gerard asks somewhat incredulously.

"Well, we might as well. Since it's a family dinner and all," Frank says lightly. Gerard's stomach does stupid things anyway. He tries to remind himself that Frank means it in the Brotherly sense, not the sense that Gerard means it. Well, in regards to Frank. Mikey is still definitely just a brother.

Gerard spends the next twenty minutes clearing off the table and making the dining area a place for eating and not looking like a desk exploded. He has a studio for this stuff, he really should use it. It's just gotten worse since Frank got here, mostly because Gerard doesn't like being away in his studio when Frank's out here. God, he's the most pathetic man alive.

Gerard sits back down with his sketchbook and tries to draw something actually _useful_ , but mostly he just ends up with doodles of Frank playing with Peppers.

When Frank sees Gerard's sketchbook, he gets the cutest, tiniest smile on his face. "Can I have that?" Frank asks.

Gerard smiles. "If you want. I'm not done yet, though."

"I can wait," Frank says and continues cooking. Gerard just watches him move around the kitchen for a few minutes. It's a little chaotic, but mostly that's Frank, because he seems to be pretty organized about it. He's sauteing something that clearly involves onion and garlic because it smells really fucking delicious. Frank darts back and forth between little stations he has set up for the various things he's fixing. Watching him cook is a little like watching him play guitar. He's all over the place, stirring this, chopping something elsewhere, and then back to stirring.

Gerard's phone starts playing Mikey's ring tone. Gerard answers, "Are you here?"

"We've got all our stuff and are waiting in line for the car. We should be there in an hour or so. Maybe less if traffic isn't fucking ridiculous. I'm not holding my breath."

"See you soon," Gerard says and hangs up.

"They almost here?" Frank asks.

"Sort of? They're still at the airport getting a car, but Mikey said they should be here within an hour."

Frank shuts the oven door. "Well, dinner is mostly done. Help me set the table." He grabs plates and things from the cupboard and hands them over the bar to Gerard who puts them in front of each of the four chairs at the table.

"Wherever our grandmas are right now, they're really proud of us," Gerard says.

Frank shoots him a sad little smile. "Yeah they are. They were anyway, I'm pretty sure." He smirks, "I don't know about you, though. I seem to be doing most of the work for this meal. I think Elena would just shake her head and laugh at you."

"You offered, fucker! I would just be in the way!" Gerard squawks.

Frank laughs. "I know, I'm just giving you shit."

They finish setting the table and go out to have one last smoke before dinner. Gerard briefly worries he won't hear the door, but Frank assures him that the doorbell is plenty loud and will carry through the screen door. It turns out he doesn't even need to hear the bell because he hears a couple of car doors slam and a dog start barking. At first Gerard thinks Mikey and Alicia brought Winston with them, but that doesn't really sound like Winston's bark. Peppers is dancing excitedly around his feet and Gerard picks her up as they get up to go through the house and open the door. Mama comes running in on the end of her retractable leash straight into Frank's waiting arms. Frank is grinning from ear to ear and Gerard's stomach swoops. If Frank had Mikey and Alicia bring Mama out, maybe that means he's _staying_.

Mikey and Alicia reach the door a few seconds later and Alicia squeals and makes grabby hands at Peppers. Gerard hands her over with a kiss to Alicia's cheek. He turns to Mikey and hugs him hard. "Missed you," he murmurs in Mikey's ear.

"Me too," Mikey says, squeezing Gerard tight.

Gerard pulls back after a moment. "You guys better be hungry, because Frankie cooked us dinner."

"Fucking starved," Alicia says. "I swear, even the stupid snacks on planes are awful these days."

They go into the dining room. Gerard glances at Mikey, whose eyebrows are approaching his hairline. Gerard rolls his eyes and goes into the kitchen to help Frank get everything to the table. It's not until he's seated (Frank has Mama on his lap and Alicia won't stop cooing at Peppers) and they're about to dig into everything that Gerard realizes Frank cooked a whole pan of lasagna.

"Frankie, you didn't have to cook us something you wouldn't even be able to _eat_!" Gerard exclaims.

"I wanted to, it's okay," Frank says. "And besides, I made some sides I can eat."

Gerard really, _really_ wants to kiss Frank. He wants to lean over, grab Frank's shirt, and kiss him for a week. Instead, he leans over and brushes a kiss along Frank's cheek. He studiously avoids looking at Mikey.

Gerard takes a squirming Peppers from Alicia and cuddles her for a second and then leans toward Frank and he holds her up to Mama so they can inspect each other. There's no growling, just curious sniffing, so they put the dogs down to see what they'll do. They sniff each other some more and pretty quickly Mama seems over it and starts looking around for food. But Peppers yips and jumps around, clearly saying "Play with me!" She follows Mama around and yips at her and tries to get her to play. Mama mostly ignores her.

Gerard feels incredibly fucking happy; he's got three of his favorite people on earth with him. After they finish dinner, Gerard insists on clearing everything up. Frank and Alicia grab glasses of iced tea and go out to sit on the patio with the dogs. Gerard suddenly realizes the flaw in this plan when Mikey hangs back. Gerard had hoped to avoid this conversation. At least for the evening.

"Gerard," Mikey says seriously.

"Yes, Mikey?" Gerard keeps his voice as innocent as possible.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"Well, right now I'm rinsing the dishes," Gerard says.

"You know what I fucking mean, asshole."

"Mikey, I swear to god, I have no idea. But it... whatever this is, it makes me happy," Gerard says.

Mikey frowns, "I can tell. Like, I don't think I've ever seen you like this. But," Mikey shakes his head. "You guys are fucking hopeless."

They move on to other topics. Sort of. Gerard can't really help talking about Frank non-stop. He talks about all the things they've done since he last actually spoke to Mikey for any real amount of time, about Peppers and meeting the fans the other day and a bunch of stupid, everyday shit that Gerard can't seem to keep to himself.

Gerard finishes cleaning up and they join Alicia and Frank out back. The sun is going down and the light is perfect and making them both look fucking gorgeous. Well, Gerard is sure Alicia looks gorgeous. He just can't seem to take his eyes off Frank to look at her. His breath totally catches in his throat.

Mikey elbows him in the stomach. "You are so stupid."

Gerard sighs, "I fucking know."

"I'm not talking about..." Mikey sighs deeply. "Whatever."

Gerard takes a deep breath and sinks into the chair next to Frank and steals his iced tea and takes a big gulp. "Fucker," Frank says fondly and takes his glass back. Alicia catches Gerard's eye and raises and eyebrow at him and he has to hold back a sigh. He loves his brother and his sister-in-law dearly, but they really fucking love giving him shit. Gerard just smiles at her. He's sure he can expect a conversation with Alicia later as well.

They sit in the backyard until the light is practically gone and the dogs come back up to the porch from the yard. Gerard scoops Peppers up and holds her close to his chest while Frank hefts Mama. Peppers whines a little. Gerard coos, "Is it time for dinner, baby? Let's go inside and get you some dinner."

They all get up and shuffle into the house. Mikey and Alicia curl up together on one end of the couch while Gerard putters around feeding Peppers. Mama is panting nearby giving him a piercing look. Gerard gives her a pat and calls to anybody willing to answer, "Do we have any of Mama's food, or should I just give her some of Peppers' puppy food for now?"

"It's in the bag next to the kennel, Gee," Frank answers. "By the door."

Gerard gets everybody fed and watered and goes into the living room. Frank is sitting on the loveseat talking to Mikey and using big hand gestures. More than anything, Gerard wants to sit next to him and cuddle up like Mikey and Alicia are doing. Instead he sits in another chair and pulls his legs up under him

They talk and laugh and have a good time until Mikey and Alicia start nodding off because they've been traveling all day and switched time zones and everything. So Frank and Gerard help them get all their luggage into the guest room and Gerard hugs them both for like, five minutes and lets them go to bed. Neither he nor Frank is particularly tired, but they get ready for bed anyway. Mama jumps up on the bed and makes herself at home at the foot. Gerard picks up Peppers and puts her next to Mama and she immediately curls up. Gerard has to lean down and give her a kiss and scritch Mama's ears.

He changes into his pajamas while Frank is in the bathroom and then they switch. When Gerard finishes brushing his teeth, he comes out to find Frank curled up in a ball at the bottom of the bed petting the dogs. Gerard feels it would be cruel and unusual to ask him to restrain himself in that moment, so he leans over and kisses Frank's forehead and smoothes his hair back.

Frank smiles up at him all sleepy and soft and perfect and Gerard's chest tightens. To keep himself from doing something monumentally stupid, he stands up straight and walks around to his side of the bed and crawls in. Frank gives the dogs one last pet and scootches up the bed and crawls in himself. He immediately rolls toward Gerard and rests his head on Gerard's chest. "I'm glad Mikey and Alicia are here," he says. "I missed those kids."

Gerard wraps his arms around Frank. "Me too." Suddenly, he's feeling very tired. He hadn't felt so tired until he got in bed. "G'night, Frankie."

"Night, Gee."

***

When Gerard wakes up in the morning, he's completely alone. It really really sucks. It's only been a few weeks that he's been sharing his bed with Frank (and Peppers), but he's gotten used to it. Usually he finds it difficult to get out of bed, but since there isn't anyone to cuddle with, he gets himself up and pees and brushes his teeth, then goes to see where everyone else is.

He follows the sound of Franks laugh into the kitchen. He and Mikey are sitting at the breakfast bar over croissants from the bakery a few blocks away and coffee (well, tea for Frank). Gerard makes a beeline for the coffee and pours himself a cup. After he has the requisite amount of powdered creamer and Splenda poured in, he downs half the mug before speaking to anyone. "Morning," he says as he shuffles over to crowd Frank's space in the guise of getting some pastry.

"Morning," Frank says, leaning against Gerard for a moment.

"I still can't believe you torture your coffee like that," is all Mikey says.

Gerard reaches across both of them for a croissant and says, "Whatever, it's delicious."

"Only because you have no taste buds left," Mikey retorts.

Which reminds Gerard of his cigarette craving. He only resists the urge to kiss Frank on the top of his head because Mikey is watching, and takes his breakfast outside to the table. Alicia is out in the yard playing with the dogs, but when she sees Gerard sit down, she comes over to join him.

"Sleep okay?" he asks her as he lights a cigarette.

"Yeah," she answers. And after a pause, "Did you?" she asks with a knowing smirk. Gerard doesn't choke on the drag he had just taken, but only just.

He plays it cool. "I slept fine, thanks."

Alicia gets up and sits in a chair next to him, "Honey, you should really talk to him. You're fucking crazy if you think he'd ever reject you. That boy has been over the moon for you at the very least since I met you all."

Gerard grimaces. He doesn't know how to talk about this, really. He doesn't even really know _why_ he's never made a move. Except for how he has a history of fucking things up and the thought of fucking up _any_ relationship he has with Frank is so utterly, completely terrifying that it makes his stomach feel like maybe he should be taking Frank's meds.

It must show on his face, because Alicia squeezes his hand. "Gee, you're not going to fuck up. And if you do? Frank will forgive you. Frank will _always_ forgive you."

"Jesus, are you a fucking mind reader now?" Gerard dodges. She laughs and squeezes Gerard's hand again before picking up the rope toy and throwing it out into the yard, where Mama pounces on it.

"You Ways think you're so mysterious. But once you learn the cues, you're like fucking open books."

Gerard makes a face at her and takes another swig of coffee. Peppers notices that he's in the backyard for the first time and comes running over, dancing around on her hind legs at his feet. He lifts her up and pulls her close.

"Aww, she loves her daddy," Alicia coos.

"She's not..." Gerard trails off when Alicia raises her eyebrow.

"Yeah, okay," Gerard says and kisses Peppers' little head.

Gerard asks Alicia about their plans for the day and she chatters about how Sarah is going to come pick them up in a while and take them to lunch, and then they're dropping Mikey back off and then spending the afternoon and evening having best friend time. Gerard wonders if maybe he should make himself scarce and let Mikey and Frank have some time to themselves. Later, when Mikey is back from lunch, Gerard ends up telling them he's gonna go work on comic stuff and disappears into his studio. He makes a valiant attempt to not creepily try to listen to Frank and Mikey talking in the living room. He doesn't succeed.

He spends thirty minutes wishing he had a coffee machine in his studio and then laughs at himself for being an idiot, because it's not like either of them _asked_ him to leave and if they wanted time away from him for real, they could have left. So he goes out to fill up his mug and as he's passing the couch on the way back to the studio, Frank reaches out and grabs his arm and tugs him around the couch to pull him down.

"What's with the hermit act, huh?" he asks.

Gerard looks over at Mikey and then at Frank and feels kind of silly. He shrugs, "I just. It seems silly now, I guess."

Frank nods seriously, "Understandable. You're often silly."

Gerard rolls his eyes and drinks his coffee.

"So are you done in there, or are you going to hang out with us now?" Frank asks.

"Yeah, I didn't really get much done anyway," Gerard says and settles back into the couch. "I called Scott. He says hi."

"Hi Scott," Mikey and Frank chorus. Peppers stands up and stretches from where she was sitting at Frank's side and walks over his legs and into Gerard's lap and curls up again. Gerard smiles down at her and runs the hand that's not holding the coffee cup over her fur. She's so little, he can basically cover her up entirely with one hand. Frank nudges his hand out of the way and scritches Peppers' around the neck and ears. Gerard glances up at Mikey. He just shakes his head at Gerard and rolls his eyes. Gerard wants to flip him off, but settles for wrinkling his nose and drinking his coffee.

That night, Gerard gets into bed and cuddles with Peppers as Frank comes out of the bathroom, toothbrush in hand and cocks his head at Gerard. "So why _did_ you hole up in your studio all afternoon?"

Gerard looks studiously at his hands. "Well. Alicia said something this morning about having 'BFFs only time' and I thought maybe you and Mikey might want to hang out without me." He sighs. "I told you it was silly." He bites his lip and looks up into Frank's face.

The look on Frank's face is not the one Gerard was expecting. He was expecting the one that means Frank is about to open his mouth and mock him. Instead, he looks kind of like he did the moment he first saw Peppers.

"You are just..." Frank trails off. "Mikey has been sharing me with you since the day I met you."

"Oh," Gerard says. He buries his face in Peppers' side. Frank disappears back into the bathroom and Gerard listens to him finish brushing his teeth. Best friends. They've all been best friends since the day they met, basically. Gerard can work with that.

Frank comes back into the bedroom, shuts out the lights, and gets in bed. Gerard feels kind of awkward for pretty much the first time since they started sleeping together, but Frank reaches out and tugs him into his arms. Gerard lets out a sigh and tries to relax.

"Night, Frankie." Frank squeezes his arms around Gerard's shoulders. Gerard stays awake for a long time, listening to Frank's heart beat.

***

The next morning Gerard wakes up absurdly early. He tries to go back to sleep, but he's just wide awake and there's nothing to be done but get up. Not even Peppers or Mama get up and follow him out of the room. The whole house is quiet and sort of dark because the sun hasn't come up over the hill and into the little valley they're in. He presses the button to get the coffee maker going, slips on a hoodie and the slippers Bob bought him last Christmas, and goes out the door to the patio. Everything is covered with dew, so he stands and smokes a cigarette and stares blankly into the backyard.

He lights another off the first and looks mournfully at the wet chair nearest to him and blows a cloud of smoke at it in retaliation. It dissipates before it ever gets to the chair, but Gerard feels better anyway. He scrubs his hands over his face, sucks down the rest of his cigarette quickly and goes back inside.

Mikey's leaning against the counter sipping a cup of coffee and Gerard nearly jumps out of his skin when he sees him. "Jesus, Mikey. It's like your goal in life to give me a heart attack," Gerard breathes.

Mikey smirks at him. "Sorry."

"I really don't think you are."

"Yeah, no."

"Did I wake you? I thought I was quiet," Gerard worries.

"Nah. I smelled coffee."

"Sorry," Gerard says.

"I really don't think you are," Mikey parrots and they smile at each other. Mikey puts down his mug and Gerard takes the opportunity to give him a hug.

"Has Alicia convinced you to move out here yet?" Gerard murmurs into Mikey's shoulder. "Because that would be really great."

Mikey huffs and squeezes Gerard. "Yeah. We're gonna look at houses while we're here. Just to like, scope things out, though. Nothing for sure yet."

Gerard squeezes back hard. "Awesome." He can tell his face is gonna be stuck in a manic grin all day. He pulls back after a minute and makes himself a giant cup of coffee. He downs the entire thing as fast as he smoked his first cigarette and makes another for savoring. He and Mikey sit at the table and spend the next couple of hours talking about nothing and everything. Eventually the conversation gets around to Frank, and Gerard sighs, "He just... he thinks of me as a best friend, Mikey."

"Have you asked him? Has he said _specifically_ , 'Gerard I think of you as my best friend'? Because I think you're totally misreading everything."

Gerard shrugs. "Can we like, not talk about this today? Just today? You can go back to being an asshole about it tomorrow."

Mikey rolls his eyes. "Fine."

"Good." They drink their coffee in silence for a couple of minutes.

"Oh, I forgot. I have presents from mom in my suitcase," Mikey says. Gerard grins. It's probably all kitschy Jersey souvenirs so he "doesn't forget." As if he could. He'll let Frank scatter them throughout the house later.

After another hour or so, Alicia wanders out with epic bedhead and the previous night's makeup still on. She goes straight to the coffee maker and then pulls one chair close to Mikey so she can lean on him, pulling the other over to put her feet up on. Mikey kisses her and Gerard feels a swell of pride that his brother found this beautiful girl and they've made it to this point.

Frank shows his face a few minutes later, the dogs trailing after him. His hair is sticking up everywhere and he looks grumpy. It's fucking adorable. He grabs Gerard's cigarettes and lighter off the counter and goes outside. While he's smoking, Gerard gets up and gets the hot water going for Frank's tea, setting the mug up. He sits back down and Alicia gives him a knowing look. He does not roll his eyes, however much he wants to. Frank comes back in and pours hot water into the mug and comes over to the table. Gerard realizes half a beat before Frank does that there's no chair. Instead of just stealing the chair Alicia took to put her feet on, he sits on Gerard's lap. Gerard automatically wraps his arms around Frank's waist. "Morning, Frankie."

Frank doesn't say anything, just sort of grunts and snuggles while he drinks his tea. His hoodie smells like morning air and cigarettes and just _Frank_ and Gerard's heart speeds up a little bit. Mikey has raised an eyebrow at him, but Gerard ignores him. Frank doesn't seem to notice the whole sniffing thing. Gerard rests his head against Frank's side and plays with Peppers with his foot.

They all sit there in companionable silence for a while, Frank's warm, solid weight making Gerard feel sleepy again. He can't hold back a huge yawn, which makes Frank giggle and rub his head against Gerard's. "Still tired? You were up pretty early."

Gerard just groans and smushes his face into Frank's neck. Just then, Alicia's phone rings and she gets up to take the call.

Mikey says, "That's probably the realtor."

That makes Frank sit up straight. "What? The realtor? Are you guys moving out here?"

Mikey shrugs. "Maybe. We're at least gonna look around, see if we find a house we like."

Frank just says, "Huh", and leans back against Gerard. He doesn't relax though, like earlier. Gerard tightens his hold on him a little, hoping it might help. It does a bit, but Frank doesn't sit for much longer. He gets up and heads down the hall toward the bedrooms, Peppers and Mama trotting after him.

Gerard sighs, preparing for Mikey to comment. But Mikey seems to get that he shouldn't, and goes to get dressed when Alicia calls that they need to leave in twenty minutes.

When Frank still hasn't reappeared after Mikey and Alicia have left, Gerard goes to look for him. He's just heading down the hall to check the bedroom when he hears music coming from inside the studio. He pauses outside the partially-closed door and listens. Frank's playing something on guitar that Gerard doesn't recognize, but then he segues into "Prison" and Gerard can't help but smile.

He slowly pushes the door open and quietly steps into the room, trying not to disturb Frank. Frank is sitting cross-legged on the floor, but instead of his own guitar in his lap, he's playing one of Gerard's. Peppers perks up when she sees Gerard and moves from where she'd been curled up with Mama next to the guitar case and darts over to him. Frank stops playing and looks up, his cheeks going a little pink. "Sorry. Is this okay?" he asks, gesturing to the guitar he's playing.

Gerard bends down to pick up Peppers. "Of course it's okay. They sound a lot better when you play them."

Gerard folds himself down onto the floor beside Frank, Peppers cuddled up in his lap. Frank's picking idly at the strings, but not playing anything anymore. The silence between them turns awkward, and Gerard is definitely not starting this shit again. "Frankie, what's wrong?"

Frank plucks another string. "I'm not really sure."

The song changes to something that Gerard doesn't recognize, but it sounds peppy and interesting and Gerard just listens for a while. And then he yawns so huge he's afraid the top of his head might fall off.

"Am I boring you?" Frank asks, amused.

Gerard yawns again and says "C'mon, take a nap with me."

"I'm not that tired," Frank says.

"Well, let's put on a movie then," Gerard says and drags Frank into the living room and puts on one of their old standbys so he can fall asleep and not feel bad about missing something.

He gets a blanket and pulls Frank down onto the couch with him. It isn't strictly necessary, he has more than one couch, but it reminds him of being on the bus and when one of them says "take a nap with me" this is what they mean. Frank just lies down with him and snuggles up with Gerard's head on his chest, one of his hands in Gerard's hair. Both dogs curl up at their feet. Gerard's really tired by now and Frank's really comfortable and warm, so he barely lasts past the opening sequence before he's out.

When Gerard slowly climbs back into consciousness, he feels really good. He's holding someone close and tight, his face is buried in the soft skin of their neck, their legs are entwined and there's a solid thigh pressed tight up against his crotch, which is definitely enjoying the situation.

"Mmmmm." He presses closer, nuzzling his face along the stubbled jawline, when he wakes up fully and realizes that he's practically been humping Frank in his sleep. He flails backwards and ends up falling off the couch, banging his hip hard on the floor and waking up Mama and Peppers, the latter of whom jumps down and starts barking at him. Frank sits up, looking a little confused like Gerard just startled him awake, then sees Gerard on the floor. Gerard knows that look on his face, he's trying not to laugh, the asshole. "You okay?" he asks around a grin.

"Fine" Gerard grumbles, rubbing his sore hip. And as always when Gerard's just done something embarrassing, Mikey and Alicia choose that moment to walk back into the house. Gerard can't feign annoyance for long though, and soon enough he's laughing at his own expense with everyone else.

***

They spend the next two weeks hanging out with Mikey and Alicia and going out with them to see various friends. They end up having an impromptu party in the backyard and it feels like every single person they know that's currently in LA shows up at some point over the course of the evening. It's pretty fun.

One day, they drive a couple of hours up the 101 to a beach not swarming with people. Gerard has never been a huge beach fan, but it's pretty cute watching Mama and Peppers dig in the sand. Frank insists on taking Mikey to the record store, and then Gerard has to take him to The Secret Headquarters, even though he's been there a million times. They go to the Japanese American National Museum because Alicia is a giant history nerd. Well, they all kind of are, but Alicia especially.

Frank stays home instead of going out with them on Friday night, saying his stomach is giving him trouble. Gerard makes concerned faces and pulls Frank aside before they leave to ask him how he's doing and if he wants Gerard to stay with him, but Frank waves him off. Gerard kind of wants to ignore him, but Alicia honks the horn from the car and Frank pushes him out the door.

Gerard worries about him the entire time they're out. He tries to let go and have fun, remind himself that Frank is an adult and if something was seriously wrong, he'd call. But, he can't shake it.

"I called a cab," he says to Mikey and Alicia when he sits back down at the table. "But you guys should stay as long as you want. I took care of the tab, too."

Mikey looks like he wants to say something obnoxious, but Alicia cuts him off. "Thanks, Gee." She reaches across the table and puts her hand on his arm, squeezing a little. "Have a good night, okay? Tell Frankie we missed him and we'll see you guys in the morning."

When Gerard gets back to the house, he finds Frank asleep on the sofa with "Good Eats" on the TV, and Mama curled up at his feet, while Peppers is snuggled in the crook of his neck. He looks really peaceful, and Gerard almost feels silly for coming home so early, but then Frank's brow furrows and he starts making pained sounds. Gerard is right next to him in a flash, gently shaking him awake.

"Frankie, wake up, it's okay, I'm here," he soothes, wiping the sweat off of Frank's brow.

Frank blinks his eyes open. "Gee?" he croaks, looking a little dazed.

Gerard runs his fingers through Frank's hair. "Yeah, it's me. You okay? You sounded hurt."

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, nothing hurts. I think it was a bad dream?"

He still looks a little freaked, so Gerard leans down and presses his lips to Frank's forehead. He feels warm. "You're warm. Do you feel like you've got a fever?"

"Not really, I think it's just the meds. Are you guys back already? I didn't think it was that late."

Gerard still hasn't moved away, and he can see the gold flecks in Frank's eyes from this close. He licks his lips and clears his throat. "No, just me." He feels silly about it all over again.

But Frank just smiles at him. "Worried about me?"

"Yeah well, you said you didn't feel good, so you know."

Frank pulls Gerard down then, shifts around until they're snuggled up together. "I was just tired, more than anything. I couldn't sleep last night. Again."

Gerard frowns, even though Frank can't see it. "I'm sorry I woke you."

"It's okay, I've mostly been sleeping better since we got Peppers anyway."

Gerard feels his pulse speed up a bit. "Yeah?" he asks, squeezing Frank a little.

Frank squeezes back. "Yeah. Now watch the rest of this show with me, since I'm up."

"Okay," Gerard agrees, no longer feeling silly at all.

***

The night before Mikey and Alicia are set to leave, Gerard walks back to his studio to grab a book for Alicia to read on the plane when he hears Mikey and Frank talking through the door to the guest room. He shouldn't stop and snoop. He knows he shouldn't. But he does anyway and holds his breath, listening.

"Frank seriously, he's being stupid. You're both being stupid," he hears Mikey say.

"Mikey, I can't," Frank answers

Mikey sighs so heavily that Gerard can hear it through the door. "Ugh, how are you both being such cowards about this when you're so fucking brave the rest of the time?"

"Because it would be a big fucking deal, okay? Monumental. This isn't something you fuck up," Frank replies.

"You guys wouldn't fuck it up," Mikey insists.

Gerard doesn't wait to hear Frank's response, he walks quickly into his studio and quietly shuts the door. He has to sit for a second and get his head wrapped around what he just heard. Mikey's been telling him for weeks that Frank has feelings for him, but Gerard didn't believe him. Well, didn't, wouldn't or couldn't, probably some combination of all three. But now... Gerard couldn't deny it even if he wanted to. Which he really, really doesn't. But Frank is scared they'll fuck it up. Gerard's worried about that too, it's one of the reasons he never said anything. Not counting Mikey, Frank is his best friend in the entire world. Gerard always rationalized that having that and pining forever was a billion times better than being wrong and losing him. But... he wouldn't be wrong, would he?

Gerard jumps when there's a knock on the door. "Gerard?" It's Alicia.

"Yeah, hang on!" he calls, then gets up to find the book she wanted. He pastes on his best smile when he opens the door to hand it to her, but she's smart and can probably tell he's faking, but she doesn't comment. He follows her back down the hall and when they pass the guest room he can hear Frank giggling. As jumbled up as he is about everything he knows now, and what he should do about it, that sound makes his heart lift just like always.

***

Gerard finishes paying the Chinese delivery guy and when he walks back into the kitchen, Alicia is setting the table. He gets the food set out on the counter and calls out to Frank and Mikey that dinner is ready. Everyone gets dished up and sits down to eat. Frank looks a little unenthusiastic about his steamed veggies and rice, but he perks up when Gerard passes him a spring roll. He's not really supposed to have them, but one should hopefully be okay.

They eat mostly in silence for a few minutes. It's been a while since lunch and the food is super good. Gerard sneaks Peppers and Mama bits of his chicken and avoids Frank's dirty looks. "So Frank," Alicia says, "Are you coming home any time soon?"

Gerard wants to glare at her and insist that _this_ is Frank's home. Instead he settles on stabbing a piece of chicken violently with his chopstick.

"I dunno," is all Frank says.

"And don't think you're getting off the hook, mister," Alicia says, kicking Gerard's shin under the table. "Every time we go to a family dinner, little Abby makes big eyes at us and asks if you're going to be there."

Gerard feels a little guilty about missing his cousins, but now his shin hurts, so he goes for rolling his eyes and says, "I was just there."

Mikey snorts. "Ray's wedding was like, three months ago dude."

"Whatever. How long did it take you to come see me? Frank got here first." Frank grins at him. Gerard grins back. He catches Alicia smirking at him, clearly saying _And I wonder why that is?_ Gerard just rolls his eyes again and takes another bite of chicken. God, he loves his family. Even when they're fucking _annoying_. "Turnabout is fair play," he says, "When are _you_ coming back here?"

Mikey stretches his arm across the table, fork first, to steal a piece of Gerard's chicken, and answers while he chews. "Not sure yet, but probably Thanksgiving. Mom would kill you if you missed Christmas at home, but I think she knows you won't show up for both, and she'd kill _me_ if I left you out here all alone. Besides, someone has to keep you from burning Grandma's famous potato dish."

Gerard laughs. "I think you mean someone needs to keep _you_ from burning Grandma's potatoes, but fine. You guys should definitely come here." Gerard pauses to take a drink, then says, "And you too Frankie, if your mom will let you."

"I think she might," Frank says with smile.

Gerard reaches over and steals a piece of broccoli off Frank's plate. "Awesome," he answers. Secretly, he hopes Frank will just still _be_ here come Thanksgiving. He doesn't say that, though.

"Are you seriously gonna move out here?" Frank asks, looking curiously at Mikey. Gerard examines his face carefully, but he doesn't seem troubled about the thought anymore.

Mikey glances at Alicia before turning to Frank and nodding, "Yeah, I think so."

Gerard can't help himself, he feels a giant grin spreading across his face.

Frank catches it and smiles a little, then says, "So we'll be a bi-coastal band for real, then."

"Looks like it," Mikey says. "Plus, last time I talked to Bob he said he was thinking about moving out here too."

Frank groans, but Gerard can tell he's being a big faker. "Great, Toro and I are the only holdouts. Fucking Ways, this was your plan all along, wasn't it?" Gerard suppresses a frown. He'd kind of hoped Frank had already cottoned on to this plan and was on board with it.

"It's all Gerard's fault," Mikey says.

"I am perfectly willing to take the blame for this," Gerard says in a falsely cheery voice and tries to grin.

***

Mikey and Alicia back out of the driveway, then honk and wave as they take off down the street. Gerard and Frank stand at the end of the drive and wave back until they can't see the car anymore. Gerard's sad to see them go, it's always great to spend time with them when they don't have to actually go anywhere or do anything, but if he's being honest with himself, he's pretty happy to have the house all to themselves again. He follows Frank and the dogs back inside and starts making everyone lunch. Frank helps, and it just... it feels so domestic and perfect and basically Gerard wants to make sandwiches with Frank in his kitchen every day for the rest of his life. After accidentally hearing Mikey and Frank's conversation last night, he's feeling like maybe Frank would say yes to him if he asked. Still the thought of what could happen if he's wrong makes him want to throw up.

He's sort of vaguely working up the nerve to finally say something, when Frank interrupts his thoughts. "So I should probably think about going back soon, too."

Gerard's very lucky he had just finished slicing the tomato in his hands, or else he might have just lost a finger. He wants to beg Frank to stay, maybe even chain him to the sofa so he can never leave, but that's too melodramatic even for him and Frank is an adult and can make his own decisions. But, dammit. "Frank, you don't have to unless you want to. You know you can stay here whenever, for however long you want. My house is your house. And you don't want to give up your good doctor, remember?"

Frank nods a little, but doesn't respond. They take their plates into the living room and eat while they watch a Rock of Love marathon on VH1. It's awkward again and Gerard hates it. His cell phone rings, and it's playing "Like A Rolling Stone," which means it's Scott and he needs to take the call. "Hey, Scott."

"Hey Gee. I just got off the phone with Gabriel and he's ready for the next section. Where are you with it?"

Gerard gets up and walks into the studio as he talks. "I'm just about finished, I could probably have it to him tomorrow?" He fumbles around on his desk to pull out the most recent page he was making notes on. "Yeah, nearly finished. I have like, two more pages."

They arrange a deadline, because as Scott learned early on with Apocalypse Suite, Gerard will get anything done eventually, but he needs a defined end to work with or he'll tweak until the end of time. Scott gets another call, so Gerard hangs up. When he comes back into the living room, Frank is sitting on the couch with his laptop. "Whatcha doin?"

"Uh, looking up flights."

 _What_? "What?" Gerard rushes over to the couch next to Frank, and sure enough, he's got the Continental Airlines site open. "What the fuck, you were serious before? You want to leave?"

Frank looks up, his eyes wide like Gerard startled him. "Well, yeah. I mean, I just thought that-"

And that's it, Gerard can't take this anymore, he grabs Frank's face and pulls him forward for a hard kiss. Frank is stiff and unresponsive for a few seconds before he relaxes into the kiss. Gerard makes a pleased sound and slows things down. He kisses Frank like he's always wanted to, gently sucking on Frank's bottom lip then nipping lightly. Frank surges forward then, his laptop sliding off his legs and crashing onto the floor. He pushes Gerard back down onto the couch, dislodging the dogs in the process.

Frank basically climbs on top of Gerard and keeps kissing him, deep kisses, his tongue searching out every sensitive spot, his hands running from Gerard's hair, then down to flutter about his neck and shoulders and then back into his hair. Gerard is pinned, but he presses up against Frank's body, kissing him back for all he's worth. He can't help the little whining noise he makes when Frank pulls back a little.

"Are we..." Frank breathes.

"Fuck yes," Gerard answers and pulls Frank down to kiss him again, his hands slide down Frank's back and then lower to grab his ass. When Gerard sticks his hands in Frank's back pockets and squeezes, Frank moans into his mouth and presses down against him.

Gerard can feel Frank's hardening dick pressed up against his hip, and he arches up, giving Frank more friction and rubbing his own dick against Frank's inner thigh. Frank moans again and trails his lips from Gerard's mouth and down to suck on the side of his neck, hitting Gerard's weak spot almost right away.

"Ahh, Frank, goddamn motherfucker," Gerard gasps as he holds Frank's head in place. Frank is good and stays where he is, sucking and nipping, and it feels so fucking good. "Fucking _finally_."

Frank hums his agreement against Gerard's neck. They're moving against each other restlessly, like two teenagers fumbling on the basement couch before their parents get home, but Gerard doesn't even care, nothing has ever felt as good as Frank on top of him.

Gerard's feeling like things might be getting close to the point of no return, when Frank lifts up a little and pushes up Gerard's shirt. Gerard's body follows Frank's upward, but he quickly settles back against the sofa when Frank runs his palms up and down Gerard's chest, his fingers rubbing over Gerard's nipples, then pinching them. It hurts in the best way, and Gerard throws his head back and arches up for more.

And then Frank stops. Gerard opens his eyes and sees that Frank is looking at him with this look that Gerard's _seen before_ , but this time it's not half hidden and Gerard finally _gets it_ , Frank has wanted this, wanted _him_ , the same way Gerard has, all this time.

"Frankie," Gerard pleads, because he _knows_ and he needs Frank _now_. Frank gets it though.

"Yeah, fuck. Gee," and then he leans back down to kiss Gerard's lips again.

Gerard sort of wants the kissing to last longer, but then Frank is moving down, pausing to kiss his way across Gerard's chest and down to his stomach, and then he keeps going. He bites the soft little pudge of skin just below Gerard's belly button, and it tickles and feels weird, and Gerard giggles when the muscles in his stomach jump. Frank looks up at him and grins, and Gerard smiles back, reaching down to brush Frank's hair off of his forehead. Frank leans his head into the pressure, and Gerard rubs harder. Then Frank ducks down and presses a kiss to Gerard's jeans over the spot where he's hard. Gerard sucks in a breath as Frank reaches up to undo the button and zip on his jeans. He lifts his hips when Frank tugs on the waistband, and suddenly his pants and briefs are somewhere around his knees. His dick is hard, standing up over his belly and Frank is looking at it like he, well... like he's been waiting years to get his mouth on it.

And he does. The first touch of Frank's lips on the head of his cock is so overwhelming, Gerard's almost sure this blowjob will be over before it's really started. But Frank is, apparently, very good at this, or maybe he's just very good at Gerard without even trying, and he wraps a hand around the base of Gerard's cock just tight enough that it brings him back from the edge. Frank goes down until his lips meet his fist, then back up, swirling his tongue around the head and flicking the slit. Gerard tries really hard not to push up, but it's not that easy, and Frank uses his other hand to keep Gerard's hips pinned to the couch while he sets up a rhythm with his mouth and his fist. It's just enough to keep Gerard going, but not enough to get him there, and it's so fucking good, Gerard could ride this out all night. Frank has his eyes closed, like the visual would be too much along with the feel and taste and smell of everything. He's making little whimpering sounds that Gerard can feel more than hear, and he looks down at him and _goddamn_ Frank looks so blissed out, fucking enjoying this and that makes Gerard's hips jerk up sharply enough to break Frank's grip on them.

Gerard is close and Frank plays him as perfectly as he does his guitars. He moves his hand off of Gerard's dick and slowly takes him in, all the way into his throat, curling his hands under Gerard's ass at the same time. The hint is unmistakable and Gerard carefully thrusts up, seeing how much Frank can take. Frank just moans and that's it, Gerard can't hold back, not when Frank wants this so clearly. He reaches down to hold Frank's head gently in place, his thumbs gently rubbing over Frank's hollowed cheeks, as he thrusts up and up, Frank's throat clenching so tight and good around him, spit dripping down Frank's chin, his eyes glassy with pleasure and open to meet Gerard's, and that is what has Gerard shuddering and thrusting up hard, once more and then coming down Frank's throat, his whole body shaking with it.

He lets go of Frank's head so he can lift off, and Frank reaches up to wipe his chin with the back of his hand. Gerard lies there, trying to catch his breath. When he looks back down at Frank, he's sitting back on his heels, kneeling between Gerard's legs, one palm pressed to the front of his jeans, like he needs _something_ but wanted to wait for Gerard.

"Fuck, Frankie, c'mere," Gerard says, and Frank does, pressing the length of his body along Gerard's, immediately going for Gerard's mouth. Frank's mouth tastes like Gerard, and that's always been a turn-on for Gerard, but it's so much better when it's Frank, when it's _them_. He chases the taste around with his tongue while Frank thrusts against him. It feels weird with Gerard practically naked and Frank still fully clothed. It's also a little awkward because the couch isn't very wide, but through some crafty wriggling, Gerard gets them turned so they're both on their sides, pressed up against each other.

He gets a hand between them and makes quick work of getting Frank's jeans undone. Frank isn't wearing any underwear, which is like, so many levels of hot, Gerard wishes they actually were teenagers so he could get hard again. He wraps his hand around Frank's dick and squeezes, then pumps his fist up and down, slowly. Frank groans and finds Gerard's mouth again with his own. Gerard gradually speeds up his fist on Frank's dick, and their kissing matches, getting fierce and almost desperate. Gerard can feel that Frank is getting close, his whole body filled with tension. He twists his hand, and Frank breaks his mouth away to bury his face in Gerard's neck, pushing up into Gerard's fist and coming with a sharp cry. Gerard wipes Frank's come off his hand on his own t-shirt, then pulls him in close, listening to Frank's breathing slow, feeling his heartbeat settle back to normal.

They tug their clothes back into some semblance of order, and Gerard pulls the blanket from the corner of the couch over them. They nap for a while, snuggled close to one another.

Gerard doesn't fall too deeply asleep. He mostly drifts between awake and asleep. It feels good to just keep his eyes closed and hold Frank. It's not exactly a new thing, but it feels different. Better.

He opens his eyes to see Frank staring at him with a small smile on his face. Gerard finally gives in to his instincts and kisses Frank's smile.

"Hi, why haven't we been doing this for years?" Gerard asks when he pulls back.

"Because you're an idiot. Actually, I'm not sure I can be with someone so addled," Frank says mock-seriously. Gerard slaps the back of his head lightly.

"Shut up. Like you were any better."

"Point," Frank kisses him again. This one lasts a little longer. Frank pulls back and maneuvers himself so he's lying mostly on top of Gerard and watching him with a soft look.

"I think I do need to go back to Jersey, though," Frank says.

Gerard's stomach drops and he can feel his face lose the smile that had been there. Frank just smiles down at him.

"Fucking idiot," his voice is fond, "Just to get more of my stuff. You could come too, you know. And there's no birthday like a Jersey birthday."

"Oh," it comes out in a whoosh. Gerard takes a deep breath and grins. "It'll be nice to see my family. And your birthday! We'll have a party." He sobers and takes another deep breath. "God, Frank. I thought when Mikey and Alicia brought Mama, that meant you were _staying_. And then you said that this morning and then you were looking at _flights_."

"You didn't _ask_ me. So," Frank says exasperatedly. His tone turns slightly hesitant. "So like, maybe I could sort of live here? I don't want to give up my place in Jersey, so you'll just have to live with _me_ sometimes, but. Yes?"

"Yes. Like, fuck _yes_. I wasn't lying or exaggerating every time I said my home was yours, you know? It's fucking _ours_."

A shrewd look crosses Frank's face. "Is that what we've been doing for the past two months? All the trips to Home Depot? Making me help you choose paint? And sheets? Getting Peppers? Making this place ours?"

"If I say no, will you not make fun of me until the end of time?" Gerard asks hopefully.

"I'll do that anyway, with or without an answer." Frank grins.

"Fine. Maybe. And I kept doing it and you kept not getting it," Gerard whines.

"Gerard, how is you asking my opinion on everything under the sun very different from normal? You do the same thing to Mikey all the time."

"Not about _sheets_!" Gerard squawks.

"I don't know, you guys can be pretty weird!"

"I'm shutting you up now," Gerard says. Frank's grin is totally a dare. Gerard wraps his legs around Frank and rolls him towards the back of the couch, pinning him there. He kisses his way up Frank's jaw, and traces his fingers across Frank's eyebrow and down his face and then back into his hair, pressing his forehead to Frank's. "Love you," he murmurs against Frank's lips and then kisses him again and again and again.

After a few minutes, Gerard pulls back and lays his head on Frank's chest. Frank runs a hand up and down Gerard's arm and they lay quietly like that for a while. It's familiar and totally new at the same time and that's pretty terrifying.

"What if-" Gerard starts.

"What if?" Frank tugs lightly at a lock of Gerard's hair.

"What if we fuck this up?" Gerard asks.

"Then we fuck it up. And then work hard to get it un-fucked, just like we've been doing. Except with bonus orgasms," Frank answers and Gerard lifts his head up to look into Frank's face. He looks back steadily.

"Okay," Gerard says and kisses Frank again.

***

Later that evening, as he and Frank start making plans to go back to Jersey for a while, Gerard has an idea. "Hey, let's not tell Mikey I'm coming."

Frank raises an eyebrow in question, but he looks amused by the idea. "Go on."

Gerard grins. "So yeah, don't tell him about us or that I'm coming with you. Just tell him you're coming home and to pick you up at the airport. He'll assume you'll be by yourself, and we'll basically surprise the shit out of him when I show up too."

"Oh yeah, we're definitely doing that," Frank agrees.

They manage to make it through the week without letting anything slip to Mikey or without him even becoming suspicious (he actually believed Gerard's inability to talk to him for more than five minutes at a time was because he was under deadline on Umbrella and he was depressed about Frank leaving; luckily only the first was true). The days fly by in a flurry of last minute edits and packing and shopping and re-packing and arranging things for the dogs, and then finally, they're on the plane, slowly making their way back to where it all began.

Peppers is small enough to fly in the cabin with them in her little carrier that is essentially a giant, bright purple handbag that Gerard mocked Frank soundly for when he picked it out. Secretly he loves it and has fun every time he carries her around in it. Mama's too big though, so she's currently in a kennel down below. Frank told Mikey ahead of time to be on the lookout for her if they get her off the plane before he gets to baggage claim. That had the other intended effect, which was to make Mikey really think Frank was coming home for good and by himself.

Gerard keeps asking Frank questions about the plan, like a compulsion. "So you're sure Mikey'll be there?"

"Yes."

"At the animal pick-up area?"

"Yes."

"And Alicia's getting your house ready because they think you're coming back for good?"

" _Yes_." Frank fixes him with a glare and pointedly puts his earbuds in. Gerard sticks his tongue out at him and reaches down to pet Peppers and settle in. It's going to be a long flight.

*

They still have about two hours left in the flight, and Gerard is jittering in his seat like crazy. Frank places a firm hand on Gerard's bouncing knee. "Gee, calm the fuck down."

"Sorry," Gerard apologizes. But it's hard to be calm, he's too excited. For one, he _never_ gets to punk Mikey like this, not anymore. And aside from the show at the Garden in the spring and Ray's wedding, he hasn't spent any time in Jersey in a while. And if he's being honest, he's also a little nervous. Not about him and Frank, no, definitely not. And it's not that he thinks Mikey will have a problem with this or anything, but well, it's a _big deal_. Then there's telling their families, and Ray and Bob and all their friends, and he has no clue how they'll all react. He knows intellectually that they'll all be really happy for them, but still, it's an unknown and in these situations, Gerard hates those.

Frank's hand reaches out to still Gerard's knee again. He looks over and sees that Frank is flipping through a magazine and looking like he's trying his level best to not throttle his boyfriend (his boyfriend!).

When Frank has to stop Gerard's twitches again, he flips the magazine shut and says, "No more caffeine during flights for you!"

Gerard pouts. "But then I'll just be a grumpy bastard. Which would you prefer?"

Frank tosses the magazine in Gerard's lap. "Fine, you can have caffeine. If you read to me."

Gerard starts by reading everything, even all of the editors names and the fine print at the beginning, but eventually he's commenting on the pictures and the font and the layout while Frank nods and points at things, and it's only when he's halfway through the magazine that he realizes Frank just played him like a two year old in need of a nap. It _is_ keeping him occupied though. Frank's really lucky Gerard loves him so much.

Finally, _finally_ they land. And then taxi around _forever_ until their gate is free. And they're practically in the back of the fucking plane because Frank talked him into flying coach. He's not sure how that even happened, except Frank was the one booking the flights because he was obsessed with his airline miles. Gerard really doesn't care much about the supposed perks of being rich or famous or whatever, but being able to fly first class whenever he wants is one he is totally unashamed to take advantage of. Apparently he either needs to get better at persuasion (and he can think of several ways to go about it, but he was short on time for this trip) or he needs to get used to having a thrifty boyfriend (though, Frank wouldn't even let Gerard pay him for his ticket).

They de-plane after _an eternity_ and then walk the million miles out to the main terminal. Gerard's got their carry-ons slung over his shoulder and Frank has Peppers. They each have a hand free so when they get to one of the moving walkways, Gerard takes Frank's hand in his, and they're totally that annoying couple holding hands and being in everyone's way, but well, they've barely had time to be that annoying couple, so Gerard's going to enjoy it while he can.

They get out past the security checkpoint and ride the escalator down to the baggage area. Gerard sees Mikey before he sees them, and then it's like slow motion as Mikey looks over and notices them and they ride ever closer. Gerard squeezes Frank's hand maybe a little too tight while Mikey's face does this quick changing emotions thing, starting with surprise, then delight, following by suspicion and then landing on delight again.

When they finally make their way over to him, he boggles at them for a second, takes in the held hands, and asks suspiciously, "Are you guys fucking with me?"

Gerard just grins. "That would be silly. To fuck with you, we would have had to actually talk about everything and we would have ended up together anyway."

"Oh right," is Mikey's reply. And then he's beaming stupidly at them, throwing himself on them both, and into a three-way hug for an incredibly long time. Then they sort of shift and Mikey is hugging the hell out of Gerard.

"Finally got smart, huh?" he whispers in Gerard's ear, but it's fond and he sounds proud and Gerard is seriously choking back some tears when he says, "Yeah, I did."

Mikey squeezes him again, then launches himself at Frank. They actually squeal and jump up and down a little. Gerard rolls his eyes, looking around. And yep, a few people have noticed that three members of My Chemical Romance are standing in the baggage claim at Newark and hugging like it's going out of style. Luckily, all the hugging is a good indication that they're having a moment, so no one approaches them, but a few take pictures. _Well, the internet will know in a few hours_ , Gerard thinks. He just hopes they can get to Ray and Bob with the news before someone else does.

They finally retrieve Mama and their bags, and on the way to the car Mikey says, "Tell me how it happened, but leave out any sex because, gross."

Frank laughs and says, "Well, now I can't tell you how it happened!"

Mikey groans, then exclaims, "Oh my god, Alicia bet me that you'd be here too, Gee, and I told her you would never grow a pair! Fuck, she was right. I have to text her!"

"No!" Gerard shouts, and seriously, Mikey already has his thumbs hovering, ready to strike. "We want to surprise her in person too."

Mikey smiles. "Yeah okay, that's better."

After they get the car loaded, Frank gets in the backseat, and after thinking about it for half a second, Gerard climbs in after him instead of sitting shotgun. Mikey sighs and gets in the driver's seat. "You guys suck. No making out."

"Okay!" Frank agrees, but then immediately pulls Gerard in and sticks his tongue in his mouth. It's not the best kiss because they're both laughing, but even the silly kisses with Frank are better than any other kiss in the world. As Mikey pulls the car onto the Turnpike, Gerard looks over at Frank and grins. Frank is the happiest Gerard has ever seen him, which is saying something because Gerard has seen Frank pretty damn happy. Gerard grabs his hand and laces their fingers together. _Home_ , he thinks. And it's true. Whether they're in Jersey or LA or Bangkok or Moscow, if Frank is by his side, Gerard is home.

THE END.


End file.
